A year ago today…

A year ago today I drove my car across town loaded up with baby items, a welcome home cake, and a little boy who had stolen my heart.  A year ago today I cried tears of pain for the goodbyes, but I also cried for the joy of answered prayers and a God who does miracles.  A year ago today I was more sure than ever that God has given me the heart of a mother and surely he would give me a chance to love like that again.

A dear friend of mine gave me a chance to be a mom, even if just for a few short months.  The Lord did a miracle and allowed us to be friends and then she had a son when she was just 15.  I got a phone call at 3:30 in the morning on January 6th that he would be coming soon!  I got to hold him just hours after he was born.  I got to snuggle with him and love on him and act like the paparazzi taking way more pictures of him than any baby ever needs.  To be honest, I fell in love with him. 

She and I spent lots of time together as she learned how to take care of him and be a mom.  But in the end she loved him enough to know that at 15 she just wasn’t ready to be the mom that he needed, and that’s when he came to live at my house for awhile.  She had lots of decisions to make and it took some time.

Meanwhile, I was loving every second of soaking up my time with this little one.  He cried through every bath, loved to coo along with me to “I love you Lord”, slept in the cutest Pooh Bear sleeper you’ve ever seen, and continued to win my heart.  And I prayed a lot.  I prayed that his mama would know Jesus, I prayed that he would grow up to be a Godly man, and I prayed that the Lord would put him in a family with a mom and a dad who know and believe the Gospel and would teach it to him with their words and actions.  My heart was a mess over this precious little boy and his mama who I love.  But the only thing that I could hold onto is that the Lord loves Him even more than I do, if that’s possible!

But a year ago today I can honestly say, the Lord answered almost every prayer that I had prayed.  Although I was sad in my own heart, I could not deny that the Lord’s hand was on every step of this little boy’s life.  As I took him to his new parents and 3 new siblings, I knew without a doubt that this was his family.  And, even more than I could have dared to hope, they even love me too and let me be a part of his life, although obviously its from a continent away :)  And his birth mama knows that I still pray for her to know Jesus almost every day.  I am so proud of her for the choices that she has made that have been so hard and for the woman that she is becoming.

But the story doesn’t end there.  A year ago today may have been the day that started it all.  The Lord opened my heart to a whole new kind of ministry that He was preparing for me in Honduras.  I have always loved babies and always had a heart for teenage girls, but for the first time He put it on my heart that those two things could go together.  And the same way that I saw His faithfulness in answered prayer in the lives of these two, He would show it to me again in the lives of young girls in Honduras.

Today, it seems fitting, was the beginning of that dream coming to fruition.  I had a preliminary meeting with a lawyer who is excited to help me.  I have a long to-do list and a headache from the Spanish.  But it’s the first step in being able to work with girls here who are young and scared and don’t know how to be moms.  I cannot wait to teach them about Jesus and about loving and teaching their children.  I cannot wait to see if their babies love bath time or singing or wear cute things while they sleep.  Adoption is not really an option here in Honduras, so these girls need to be taught how to love and care for their children.  I know I’m going to fall in love with these girls and their little ones and that the Lord is going to give me the chance to use this motherly heart once again. 

Please pray… the task is daunting.  There are girls that could move in today if I had beds where they could sleep.  The need is so great.  But we’ve taken the first step.  And as I look back I’m reminded that the Lord answers prayer and He will lead us in the way that He has in mind for us to go!