Sweet moment

Today we went to INFA to buy Y’s shirt for classes.  Well, they are on strike.  No surprise as it happened in the fall as well.  But it turns out that certain people were still there working and doing some other stuff.  As I looked in the gate I saw all the house moms from the children’s home where Y used to live up until last week.  She was there with them for a few months and really felt loved and safe there for the first time in her life.

It was a sweet moment as she got to go in and see them and visit with the other kids.  (They have to bring their kids into town once a month for family visitation)  I found out that they come every 30th of the month, so Y can always go and see them.

God is just cool to work that out.

on problems

“Give up the illusion that you deserve a problem-free life.  Part of you is still hungering for the resolution of all difficulties.  This is a false hope!  As I told My disciples, in the world you will have trouble.  Link your hope not to problem solving in this life but to the promise of an eternity of problem-free life in heaven” – Jesus Calling

So convicting.  And I’m just reminded this morning that I don’t want to give the girls in Puerta de Esperanza the idea that I am rescuing them from their lives.  I want them to know Jesus.  And I want them to know that whatever their life brings, He walks with them in it and through it.  I can’t save them from past or future trouble, but I can help them to know the One who gives them a problem-free eternity.

Great is Thy Faithfulness!

We sang this hymn at Megan and Paul’s wedding and I woke up with it in my head this morning.  The words are just so good.

Great is Thy Faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness, oh God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be.

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon, and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
to Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

A little bit of everything

Last night I went to sleep about 9:30pm.  This NEVER happens.  But I would attribute it to emotional exhaustion :)  This afternoon I sat in my house for longer than 30 minutes for pretty much the first time all week… and it was glorious!

I would like to make a confession.  I still don’t know what I’m doing :)  I don’t know the balance of being over at the house with the girls and Doña One and how much I need to let them be so that they can figure out a rhythm for how to live there and just BE.  The opening of the doors was truly just another step in the process.  There is so much to cover with them still.  This week we start one-on-one time together, Bible study, parenting discussions, school!  I want to teach them English, guitar, spelling, cooking, everthing… but there are only so many hours in the day.  And I’m still also in the process of finding two more girls to live there.  C is definitely coming back on Thursday… just in time for Y’s birthday!  There will be a piñata, don’t worry :)  Already this week we had a sick baby one night and a key emergency another.  But the Lord is still showing me HIS faithfulness day after day.  I’m not overwhelmed, surprisingly.  Just feeling like I have no choice but to surrender all the details.

I think eventually I may make a wish list on Amazon.  There are things that I would love for us to have that are not in the budget… for instance, the Chronicles of Narnia books in Spanish and others of similar reading level, beads for jewelry making b/c they love that, any other art projects, a hand mixer so Doña One can teach them to bake (she is awesome at that and also an exceptional cake decorator, so I see a possible business in the future), any Klutz type book that you could possibly find in Spanish (friendship bracelets maybe?), etc., etc.  So we’re learning about hobbies and likes and interests and how each girl is so different.

Keep praying!  And thanks :)

Day two

I’m watching the girls settle in… and its so fun to be a part of it. 

We went this morning to get Doña Oneyda’s stuff from her house and her family was SO welcoming to the girls and the babies.  They gave hugs and loved the kids and talked about how great the Lord is.  She is related to basically everyone at the church, or so it seems.  So I know that the girls will be received at the services with lots of hugs and hellos.

Then we took two sleeping babies to the grocery store… poor timing.  But these kids are troopers and can sleep anywhere as long as you’re holding them.  So although our arms were about to fall off… we made it!  I’m still learning how to cook Honduran style and had forgotten some basics when stocking the house.

This afternoon I took C to check out the public university which will be a determining factor in whether or not she stays to live in the home.  We got good answers from them and things look promising.  She is willing work hard and already signed her rules sheet for the home, so apparently she plans to stay :)

I got to hold a sleeping baby, my favorite.  And when I left they were making jewelry at the kitchen table while J played with playdough.  Sounds like a perfect way to end the day.

My Spanish is improving by the minute and they are so sweet about helping me with it.  We talked about Jesus and babies and birthdays and being a good example.  I’m just happy to be doing life with these girls. 

video

Thanks to Mike Pettengill for putting together this awesome video SO quickly!  I want you to know that apparently I’m a champ at speaking for 30 seconds, or so I’ve been told :) 

Quick recap of the day…

We were late leaving to go pick up the girls, almost ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere b/c of my oversight to fill up before we left, had a family meal for lunch at Wendys where I got to tell the girls that they really are a family, Y had some tearful goodbyes as she left the people who have loved her so well since taking her in off the street, we ate a delicious dinner cooked by Kathy, the girls got to meet some of my teammates, we went to church and even left babies in the nursery (a big step), and and and…

I’m overwhelmed and joyful, excited and anxious… but mostly just blown away that the Lord would use me in this project.  I had a moment when we walked in the door of thinking… “What in the world have I done?  Who thought this was a good idea?”  But it wasn’t my idea and I haven’t done anything.  The Lord brought it together and He will sustain it.  I just have to take one step of faith at a time.

Anyway… now for the video.  And I have to sleep before tomorrow comes :)

Puerta de Esperanza

Today is the day :)  Can you believe it?

I leave here in just a little while to pick up our first two girls :)  Y is 15 years old and J is about 19 months.  They are excited to come and we are excited to have them!

Our abuela, Doña Oneyda, is going to ride with me to pick them up and she is ready to love them like her own daughters and shower them with the Lord’s grace.  I was reminded again today as I sat and talked to her of what a huge blessing she is.  We are on the same page about almost everything and she is willing to sacrifice and love these girls so well.  It blows me away.

That said.  Please pray!

We are also moving in C and her 3 month old son to see if they will be a good fit for the house.  They will be with us for just a few days for right now, but she and I will be adventuring around to try to talk to people and schools towards the end of the week.

I covet your prayers and I am so thankful for your support!

Let me sum up

Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
Inigo Montoya: Let me 'splain.
[pause]
Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry' Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen.

This is how I feel right now… let me sum up!  So much has happened in the last week since I’ve blogged.  And since I’ve been a slacker, now I don’t get to really write how I want to write.  Alas.

This past week I was in North Carolina with my family to celebrate my psuedo-sister’s marriage!  The week was full of great things… a 2-year old’s birthday party, meeting a newborn baby of one my best friends, lunch at Mellow Mushrooms with some of my favorites, running errands with Rebecca, sharing about Honduras with the church, roadtrip with Amy, eating lobster and lots of steak, a new favorite book from my sister called “It’s a Book”, late night game with mom and Xan, Target with Halla, Japanese food with Jer, seeing family, getting dressed up, and most importantly, standing beside Megan as she married her best friend :)

I was reminded that I miss people a lot.  It is hard to say goodbye even though Honduras is feeling more and more like home.  There were some tearful goodbyes, for sure.  It was hard to leave.

And yet, in the midst of that, the Lord had my heart in La Ceiba.  Last week my church here lost one of their worship leaders when he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Well, at least that’s how it seems from an earthly point of view.  And even though I loved being in Cary and didn’t want to leave… I needed to come here and mourn with my church and hurt for those who I love who are hurting.  And I needed to feel the reminders that this world is not our home.  And I needed to be forced to remember that it is the LORD who walks beside us every day and in all things and He is the most important thing.  And I needed to see how He is using this young man’s death to bring GLORY to His name.  Its hard to grieve and to feel loss and fear.

But in the spirit of summing up, let me say this.  In the joy and in the sorrow the Lord is right there in the midst of it.  In the past week I have not felt alone.  And the Lord has blessed me with earthly friends to show me His great love and mercy.  And for that I’m so thankful.

Getting close

We have couches, a tv, a coffee maker.  The beds are made and the pack and plays set up.  There are dishes in the dish drain and chairs around the table.  Its really happening!

Yesterday my heart was so happy and content after 2 hours of sweeping and making beds and giving every baby bed a homemade quilt.  The house is ready!  We still need groceries, but I think I’ll wait ‘till the day before for that. 

I got word of another 15 year old girl with a baby and some young girls who are pregnant.  I’ll meet some of them the week that Puerta de Esperanza opens. 

Keep praying!

y no me pregunta más

I mentioned before that we have been having problems with the kids’ constant barrage of “can I have?”, “give me this”, “do you have?”, etc.  Its draining.  But I think everyone who has worked with kids has been there.

I literally laughed out loud at Kevin yesterday.

Kevin: Can I have an apple? (for the fourth time)
Me: No, and don’t ask me anymore
Kevin: Don’t ask you anymore?
Me: Don’t ask me anymore, the answer is not going to change

later on…

Christopher: Can I have an apple?
Me: No
Then Kevin looks at him, without being prompted and says emphatically: And don’t ask her anymore!!!

I think he’s learning :)

Beginnings and Ends

I would like to announce a very exciting beginning and a very exciting end.

The preparation is ending!  This past week the Lord provided a precious woman to be our house “abuela” for Puerta de Esperanza!  Doña Oneyda goes to my church and has been there for over 20 years.  She sees this job as a ministry to these girls and is ready to love on them as if they were her own.  She is connected to the church, wants to take them to small group, is going to teach them how to bake… she is amazing!  She loves the Lord and wants to glorify Him with her life.  I can only say, the Lord provided abundantly more than I could ask or imagine.  I look forward to working with her and moving forward in this ministry together.

And as for beginnings… we have an opening date!  January 25th our first mom and baby will move into the house in time to get registered for classes and get settled before starting school in February.  Another girl is coming to visit the home as we investigate possible school options for her.  And I just got a call from social services about a third girl who I am going to meet this morning.  We’re going to have a full house before long!

I am blown away.  I know we’ve been preparing and waiting and working towards this day.  But I love being able to put a date on it and see how the Lord has brought to fulfillment this ministry that He began.  There are still 1000 things that I don’t know and questions that I have.  But the Lord is faithful and I know He is carrying us!  Please praise Him with me!

A sweet surprise!

Recently we’ve been having some attitude problems with the kids.  I know, its like we’re dealing with actual children or something!  They come to the door asking to come in and then from there on out its like “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie”.  Susana, give me this, can I have this… well then I’m not coming back.  Yep, see you in 2 hours, they always come back.  We’re really trying to work on thankfulness and patience and using please and thank you.  And sometimes they just get mad and frustrated.

This happened yesterday.

Jeffri, Kevin, and Ever are our church-going faithfuls.  I can’t remember the last time they missed a chance to go to church with us.  And yesterday they didn’t show.  They had come in the morning and I didn’t let them in, so they were mad at me and threatened not to come back for church.  They always come back, so I wasn’t worried.  But it came time to leave and they weren’t there, so we headed out to church without them.

Twenty minutes into the service with smiles spread across their whole faces, in walk Jeffri and Kevin.  They had walked all the way to church (a long walk) by themselves after coming late and finding us not at home.  They walked right in and sat down like they’d been with us the whole time.  Ever on the other hand stayed out in the hallway ticked b/c it was not his choice to walk to church, apparently :)

All that to say.  It made my heart happy.  Who knows their real motivation in getting themselves there.  But the Lord is doing something in these boys.  We are excited to watch them grow, to keep getting to know their personalities, to teach them little life lessons and teach them about Jesus along the way, and to see them making church a priority.  It put a sweet smile on my face.

Jesus Calling

Nan gave me a devotional book for Christmas called “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young.  What I read last week pretty summed up my life as a missionary, so I thought I would share it with you.

“You can achieve the victorious life through living in deep dependence on Me.  People usually associate victory with success: not falling or stumbling, not making mistakes.  But those who are successful in their own strength tend to go their own way, forgetting about Me.  It is through problems and failure, weakness and neediness that you learn to rely on Me.

True dependence is not simply asking Me to bless what you have decided to do.  It is coming to Me with an open mind and heart, inviting Me to plant My desires within you.  I may infuse within you a dream that seems far beyond your reach.  You know that in yourself you cannot achieve such a goal.  Thus begins your journey of profound reliance on Me.  It is a faith-walk, taken one step at a time, leaning on Me as much as you need.  This is not a path of continual success but of multiple failures.  However, each failure is followed by a growth spurt, nourished by increased reliance on Me.  Enjoy the blessedness of a victorious life, through deepening your dependence on Me.”

So yeah.  That’s my life right now and it’s a hard blessing.  The Lord definitely put in my heart a dream that was far beyond my reach.  I was talking to Kate yesterday about all the disappointments.  Every time we’ve had to push back the date, every time a new girl didn’t work out, every time things cost more than I had anticipated, every time I think about how much more there is to do… it seems like I cannot achieve the goal of opening this girl’s home.  And yet… its really happening.  The Lord has made it so clear that this is HIS project, HIS ministry.  He has opened all the doors to make it possible.  And yes, there are still a thousand unanswered questions… but HE is right there in the middle of those too.  I believe that He will not leave us in the process because its HIS.  These girls are HIS and this home is HIS.  And He is teaching me to let go and stop thinking of all that I can offer.  And its hard, so hard to not be able to have all the answers.  But I think the Lord did it as a blessing for me so that I could learn to walk in faith and prayer.

In that vein, I’ll give you a brief update.  I think that Lord has brought us an abuela.  I meet with her again today and then I’ll know for sure.  But keep praying…

Making the non-monumental, MONUMENTAL!

Inspired by the traditional advent calendar, the roommates of La Alameda are delighted to bring you THE COUNTDOWN!

You could say that our life is boring, but I think we would prefer the term creative.  Seriously, tonight we were commenting that moving to Honduras threw us back in time.  This comment came after hours of sitting outside on the porch in rocking chairs doing nothing but chatting with each other.  I would also like to say, I LOVE IT!

So the countdown.  Every day leading up to Christmas we had to do something together as a house, read a Scripture, make cookies, dress the dog up like an elf, you know, the norm.  Then we’d hang the cards on the Christmas tree to supplement the lack of ornaments.  We considered keeping the tree and renaming it The Countdown Tree.  But we decided that may be excessive :) 

So every month we get to choose non-monumental event to make MONUMENTAL and we count down to it every day.  This month, I get to be monumental!  We are already counting down to my return from the states and I haven’t even left yet.  I’m feeling pretty special!

Because we’re not bored, just creative, we issued a roommate challenge tonight to all write a blog on the same topic.  So to read more about the COUNTDOWN, go here and here!

Remote Control

So… crime shows.  My roommates love them.  Almost every night at 8:00 you can find us sitting in the living room watching CSI, Law and Order, or something of the like.  But I have discovered something about myself.  Criminal Minds.  I can’t watch it.  My roommates love it, but my feelings about it are similar to Kate’s feelings about my recently completed puzzle.  IE Hatred.  I think maybe its okay that I haven’t developed an immunity to be able to enjoy a show featuring torture and serial killers… so they miss it when its my turn to have the remote.

In other news, I just finished a 1499 piece puzzle that I had to restart 4 times.  Kids put it away after hours of hard work.  Then its possible that Kate put it away after hours of hard work (hence the hatred for the puzzle b/c we were so mad at her about it).  Then it got dropped on the floor while I was trying to move the table.  But I’m just stubborn, so now its finished and only missing one piece after all that shuffling around.

Can you tell we took a week off for vacation?

So Close…

I have GREAT news!  We are one step away from seeing Puerta de Esperanza open!  This is really amazing and I praise the Lord for every step that He has walked before us and every door that He has opened. 

And I have an item for prayer.  The last thing that I need to do is hire the “abuela”, the house mom who will work with the girls and live there with them.  I have such a heart for these girls and pray that the woman who works with them will see this as a ministry and an opportunity to live out Christ’s love in front of them.  I have two interviews this FRIDAY!  Please pray that I will understand the Spanish easily and that the Lord will give me discernment to know who He has to work in the home with the girls.  I don’t want to rush it… I want the right person.  But I am anxious to get the doors open!  So pray that I will step back and trust in the Lord’s faithful provision.

Thanks so much!