I think they call this settling

Maggie is coming to see me for Thanksgiving and I cannot wait!

Tonight I was looking through my stuff here at the house because my mom has offered to go on a shopping spree and send things that I need with Maggie when she comes.  What an opportunity!  And yet, for the first time since I’ve been here, I looked through what I have and thought through what I can get here, and I couldn’t come up with much.

There are things of course: hair mousse, sunscreen, etc.  They are just crazy expensive here.  But for the most part, I think I can say, I’m settling.  I still talk about foods that I miss, but the truth is, I can get a lot of stuff here that I like.  I talk about missing my car, but public transportation is pretty amazing.

Don’t get me wrong, there are PEOPLE that I miss.  And I still have my moments with things.  I think I always will.  It seems like culture shock is a cycle that comes back and bites you in the butt at the most inconvenient of times. 

But for the most part, I can say, I’m settling.  I think I’ve been whining about foods I miss and not having my car… not because I really miss them, but just because life is new here and different, and its not a vacation, this is my new life.  And that’s overwhelming and scary and hard and uncomfortable.  So I crave things that are familiar, even if I don’t love them all that much.  Otherwise, why are lucky charms my new favorite cereal?  But, when I’m honest, I’m not unhappy here at all.  Its different, and I’m adjusting.  And it is hard and it takes time. 

But, the Lord has given me new insight here that I didn’t get to have at home.  This is the real life understanding that we serve a God who transcends culture and my comfort zone.  He really does go with us where He calls us to go, He makes good on His promises.  He provides exactly what we need where we are, even if its not in the timing or way that we may have asked for it… its better.  The God who I serve is full of grace and faithfulness for His faithless servant – me.  I have had my moments of asking why, of wanting to yell out in my room, “I’m lonely, I’m uncomfortable, this is hard.”  And yet the Lord of Hosts gently reminds me that He hasn’t gone anywhere, and that HE is walking before me where He calls me to go.

“He is before all things and in Him all things hold together.” –Colossians 1:17

Krissie reminded me of this verse this past spring when I was having to learn to trust the Lord with a baby boy whom I loved with all my heart.  I had to trust Wesley to the Lord and trust that He was holding all things together for that little one.  And I saw Him answer prayer in an incredible way.

And now He asks me not to trust this promise for someone else, but to trust it for my own life.  He is before all things.  And He is holding all things together.  That includes my life, my future, my ministry… He holds them all in His very capable hands.  And when I believe that, it doesn’t matter where I am – NC, Costa Rica, Honduras… no importa!  I can settle in that place.