Monday, December 17, 2012

Potential

The day started busy and running late from the 7:30 traffic until I arrived 30 minutes late to my first appointment of the day.  A 19 year old girl who is 7 months pregnant.  Last year she graduated from 6th grade and now she has no idea what her future holds.  She has had a rough year and it seems as though she may be ready for a change, I am praying this for her heart.  Coming to PDE would be a complete change her in life, and from what I hear, also her family.  This is what we are about right?  Breaking a cycle?  So I get there this morning, late and frazzled… and she doesn’t show.  And I am disappointed, and frustrated, and maybe a little tired and sad.  But the Lord is good and she is going to try to come again tomorrow and it gave me time to talk to people who know her and get a little bit more of a big picture view of who she is and what this life change means for her.  Please pray for me tomorrow as I meet D for the first time.  Pray that she will come and that the Lord will give me good discernment.  Praise the Lord that she has been part of a ministry at our church so they know her and her family and can help me have all the information. 

Truth be told, I’m nervous to put new girls in the house.  I’m nervous that the money won’t come in to support them.  I’m nervous that we will be getting into something more than what I counted on, as has happened in the past.  I’m worried it won’t work out or they will need more than I can give.  And God says… “trust me”.  And I’m trying.  In my head I do b/c I know his promises are true.  But I am still anxious for all the what ifs.  Mainly money.  I hate that it matters, that we need it to live.  I hate that it is such a hold up for me in the area of faith.  I can trust God with health problems, unknown future, even mental health issues, easier than I can trust him to provide money.  Why is that?  Please pray for me for peace to trust that this is God’s ministry and He has it under control.

Because then there is this… a 13 year old is coming in on the bus tomorrow from the capital to meet me.  She is the sister of a street kid in a ministry that we know and love there.  She is 3 months pregnant.  Wow.  I am nervous to even know where to start with her.  There are so many questions.  There are health concerns and legal issues and potential behavior problems and timing issues.  And yet, I see that this could be so good for Y because there are so many similar things in her life to this new young girl.  Could it be that God wants her to mentor someone?  Could it be that we could bring this baby and her baby into our home?  I don’t know.  And I need a lot of prayer.

I would love to have a full house.  I would love to have a full budget.  I would love to be successful in everything I do and never have to face failure.  But more than all those things I want God to be glorified.  So tomorrow is a big day.  Please pray for the name of Christ to be lifted HIGH in everything that happens.

1 comment:

  1. I am praying friend! Pounding on heaven's door as you step out on faith and rest and trust and not know, because you are not alone, He is with you, with all of us. I understand what your are going through, so many possibilities, so many possible open doors a huge responsibility and uncertainty that everything is place or in order to do it as is it is supposed to be done. We are all in there but He always provides, He has provided til today there is no reason that the creator of the universe, the one that orchestrated everything including you being there in Ceiba with those girls and babies , will not be there to sustain you, no reason because he is faithful and good. I have been a witnessed of how much He is doing in you and through you I have absolutely no doubt that he will surprise you with daily whipers of His love.

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