Holding things loosely…

Yesterday I got robbed… apparently.  It was the weirdest thing.

Bethany and I went out in the morning to drive around and look at houses, so I brought my camera…  its pretty awesome and was a gift from the Peace youth group before I moved.  (just a p.s. here… it also had a really fun etsy strap!)  But that’s not the point of this story…

So after some driving around we stop at a store and Bethany points out that I should take my camera in so no one breaks into the car to steal it.  That is a very good and responsible idea… so it goes in my purse.  I have a short strapped under the arm purse.

When we leave the store my car won’t start… even though it has a brand new battery… ugh.  So we wait to get a jump.  Then we continue running errands but leave the car running and one of us in it with both of our purses the whole time.  While the car is running the battery dies… again.  ugh.  So we get another jump and head home.

At home I start looking around for my camera, which should still be in my purse… but its not.  Its gone from all the places it could reasonably be.

There are only 3 options… either someone stole it out of my purse while it was under my arm (which is an awfully big item to pickpocket), they came into the car where one of us was sitting and stole it (not likely), or it just disappeared into thin air (actually the most likely seeming of the three…).

We have retraced our steps and thought through the morning a thousand times… and at the end we can only say that we are totally befuddled.  But sadly… being befuddled and feeling like it shouldn’t have happened hasn’t brought my camera back… :(

The day wasn’t awesome anyway b/c we haven’t had enough money come in for the projects and had to fire about half of our Honduran workers.  That’s just never fun.  And the team coming from AZ missed flights and ended up stranded in Tegucigalpa.  12 of them made it late last night with no luggage and 5 will come in this morning, most likely with no luggage.

That’s when the day should have ended… but…

I was driving my car back from the dorms around 9:15 last night (after getting another new battery and with the knowledge that I need a new alternator that may not be available for purchase in this town).  It had been raining and there was a puddle in front of me.  I watched a car drive out of it so assumed it wasn’t too deep… but I had no idea.  15 seconds later the car died in water up to my mid-thigh.  Ugh.  So there we sat.  John came and rescued us, b/c he’s awesome.  If I had had a camera, which we all know I didn’t… I would have taken a picture of John and I pushing the car, me in my dress, in water 3 1/2 feet deep.  Or a picture of John pushing my car with his truck all the way back to house providing a night’s worth of entertainment for the security guys.  Or I would have illustrated this catastrophe for you by taking a picture of my air filter literally dripping water.  But you’ll just have to imagine.

The car wouldn’t start… shocker.  So we’re praying a miracle over it that it will dry out and start today.  But until I get a new alternator and its all working… I’m benching it.  I’m just done.

Yesterday I would have moved back to NC.

Coming right on the heels of the Pettengill’s house getting robbed, I can’t help but think the Lord wants us to hold loosely to our stuff no matter where we live.  It’s a tough lesson.  I would tell you that stuff doesn’t mean that much to me, its just stuff.  But I guess it’s a lie b/c I’m pretty sad.  And I feel responsible for driving through a water trap and for not zipping my purse up.

So as we sat stranded in a puddle/river/lake waiting for John, Bethany and I just prayed that we would learn the lessons God wants us to learn.  That we would hold our things loosely and our God tightly.  That we would have eternal perspective and trust that the Lord is good.  You can pray that for us…

Be Ye Glad

I am adding songs to our team songbook and last night I read through these lyrics.  I just love them and it makes my heart joyful to remember the great love that God has for me!

Be Ye Glad
And in these days of confused situations
And in these nights of a restless remorse
When the heart and the soul of a nation
Lay wounded and cold as a corpse
From the grave of the innocent Adam
Comes a song bringing joy to the sad
All you cries have been heard and the ransom
Has been paid up in full, be ye glad

Oh be ye glad, oh, be ye glad
Every debt that you ever had
Has been paid up in full by the grace of the Lord
Be ye glad, be ye glad, be ye glad

From the dungeon a rumor is stirring
We have heard it again and again
But this time the cell keys are turning
And outside there are faces of friends
And though your body lay weary from wasting
And your eyes show the sorrow they've had
The love that your heart is now tasting
Has opened the gates, be ye glad

Oh be ye glad, oh, be ye glad
Every debt that you ever had
Has been paid up in full by the grace of the Lord
Be ye glad, be ye glad, be ye glad

So be like lights on the rim of the water
Giving hope in a storm sea of night
Be a refuge amidst the slaughter
For these fugitives in their flight
For you are timeless and part of a puzzle
And you are winsome and young as a lad
And there is no disease or no struggle
That can pull you from God, be ye glad

Oh be ye glad, oh, be ye glad
Every debt that you ever had
Has been paid up in full by the grace of the Lord
Be ye glad, be ye glad, be ye glad

sigh

My car has been in the shop on and off for about a week.  Yesterday I called to check in…

me: Hi Raul, is my car ready?
Raul: Not yet.
me: Did you fix anything?
Raul: I got a new battery
me: Did you fix the AC?
Raul: No, the guy didn’t come.
me: Why not?
Raul: I don’t know.
me: If I leave the car ‘till tomorrow will he come?
Raul: I don’t know.

sigh.

Today I call…

me: Hi Raul, is my car ready? (ever so hopeful)
Raul: Not yet.
me: Did the AC guy come?
Raul: yes
me: Did he fix it?
Raul: no, he looked at it but didn’t fix it.
me: Did he say what’s wrong?
Raul: no I didn’t talk to him.
me: Is he coming back?
Raul: I don’t know.

sigh.

I miss car repair shops in NC run by family friends who speak English and work on a dependable time schedule.  And I miss living near my dad who knows about these things.  And I miss my brother who was helping me handle the car issues.  Alas…

Another goodbye

Goodbyes are the worst, officially. 

Last night I said goodbye to my brother Jeremy who has spent the last 8 weeks here in Honduras with me.  I have enjoyed having him here so much and for so many reasons!  We’ve had adventures together, we’ve processed through a new culture, we’ve laughed and worked and just hung out.  Its been a joy!  I’m really sad that he is gone… :(

I’m so thankful for my family.  I’m thankful to have a mom and a dad who love the Lord and taught us the Gospel from an early age.  And I’m thankful to have 3 adult siblings who are walking with the Lord and support and encourage me.  And I’m thankful that we’re friends.  For as much fighting as we did as kids, we grew up to be close friends and that is a great thing.

Jeremy isn’t necessarily a kid person, but I think the Lord is trying to change that in him:)  He did an awful lot of hanging out with kids this month and they loved him.  And he played a lot of guitar and taught some lessons.  He translated in clinic and his Spanish improved a ton.  And he mixed concrete with the best of them.  Basically he is just awesome and did whatever needed to be done.

Jeremy… we’re going to miss you around here.  Come back soon!

That HIS name would be lifted up…

When I worked with Todd at the church, there was something that he would always preach and also pray… “that the name of Jesus would be made much of, that He would receive all the glory.” 

This past week that has been resounding in my head… that no matter what we do or say or how we do ministry or how we host teams, no matter what situations happen to us or because of us, that somehow through it all the name of Jesus would be made much of, that He would receive all the glory. 

On Sunday Mike preached from Romans 8 about how creation is groaning and we talked about the ways that we groan her in our humanity, in our flesh, living here on earth.  And this week we are seeing that… fear, frustration, impatience, fatigue, heat, anger… and honestly, a lot them justified.  We have cars that don’t work, we feel the hot sun, we don’t have time to sleep enough, and we didn’t invite the man who broke into the Pettengill’s house and stole things and turned their life upsidedown.  Its not that these feelings aren’t valid… because I really think they are.  But it shows me how much we need Jesus to receive all of the glory.

He knows the big picture, I am very short-sighted.  So what is He doing?  How will He receive glory in the midst of our many frustrations?  I have no idea.  But I do know something.  God is up to something.  He is building His church.  And Satan doesn’t like it, not one bit.  He’s letting us know it. 

Please pray for us.  Pray for my heart to want to see the name of Jesus lifted high.  Pray for our actions and maybe even more importantly, our reactions, that the name of Jesus would be lifted high.  And pray that at the end of the day our humanity would be so apparent that we cannot do anything but lift the name of Jesus high because it is only through Him that anything around here gets done :)    

Recharged

I think I am feeling recharged.  I wish my car battery were feeling the same say… its back in the shop.  Well, the whole car is in the shop, not just the battery.

But, aside from being a little frustrated with life’s details.  I am feeling recharged about life today.  This past week we had a small 6-person team here and they were wonderful.  They worked hard and made life easy for us. :)  So… thanks for that!  It made for some down time and some time for just getting things done.  I’ve needed that!  I needed to pay bills and do administrative stuff, write emails, make phone calls.  All things that don’t get done when you’re never home.

So… today we welcome 20 people from Colorado to our home here in Honduras.  And I’m excited that they’re coming.  It’s a small world and one of my best friend’s good friends (got that :) ) is coming with this group.  It will be so much fun to meet her!

And… to add to the life recharging… we made monkey bread for breakfast.  It was more like monkey coffee cake b/c I used a biscuit recipe that didn’t turn out like pillsbury rolls… but it was still delicious.  And I got to talk to the Messicks this morning on skype.  Man, I miss them.  But I love hearing all those little voices calling my name.  What a blessing they are to me!

Okay, enough life nonsense for you.  I’ll be back with pictures soon and news of what God is doing here in La Ceiba!

Guitar

Today I taught guitar lessons for the first time. I say that very loosely b/c it was more like playing pass the guitar as every kid wanted to have a turn.  But it was so fun!  I translated “I am a C, I am a C-H” into Spanish b/c its only 2 chords.  We just sang it over and over again for every kids to have a turn playing.  And then the little kids just strummed while Becca played the chords.

Needless to say… I loved it.

Also, I got to lead some songs and activities in kids club.  We did trust falls with the kids.  Honestly, this is a big deal.  These kids have huge trust issues, mainly the older kids.  And some of them wouldn’t even participate.  But it was fun to watch their faces when they trusted you and got to see you come through for them.  What a picture of the faithfulness of God that we want them to know and believe!

a few stories

1. The Clows have been sick.  So the other day I was over there and I hear Evan call his mom from the other room…
”Hey mom, can I have another adverb?”
Umm… what?  Oh, he meant advil.  Gotcha :)

2. The Clows van is also sick and visiting the Mechanic.  So the guy brings it back to John Saturday around 4, not totally fixed, but drivable (while until it broke down again today anyway, but I digress).  So the guy explains about the car and how he can finish fixing it later and then says,
”So, I have a problem.  I’m getting married.  Today.  At 6:00".”
Dude, you’re getting married in 2 hours, what are you doing at the Clows’ house?  Get a move on.

3. I had a fan hanging in my kitchen window that stopped working.  I went and bought a new one and put it outside on the street in case someone wanted to try to fix it.  A few hours later the motor and duct taped chord were missing.  Later we noticed the fan blade was missing.  Tonight when we came home the remaining parts of the fan were 3 houses down and across the street in front of our neighbor’s house… weird.

a link

I stalk other people’s blogs.  True story.  But today someone posted a link that I thought was worth reposting.

As all my high school girls would be able to tell you.  I’m a debbie downer when it comes to bikini bathing suits.  We had countless fights over the five years I worked at the church about modesty and bathing suits.  So I’m posting this in honor of all those many conversations where they told me it was impossible to find cute bathing suits that were modest!  And mainly in honor of the girls who hung a picture at the last pjj of J-heathen bathing suit wearers :)  You know who you are and love you all dearly!

http://www.limericki.com/

I haven’t bought one, so I can’t personally vouch for them.  But they are cute and look like they would be great!  If anyone gets one, let me know :)

Blessed are the Flexible…

for they will never be bent out of shape.

I’m not sure there is ever a time in my life that I have been that flexible.  There is always something that can bend me out of shape.

I’m a control freak.  That’s a true story.  I love knowing what is coming, I love planning ahead.  It’s a good day when everything goes according to schedule and gets done on time and in an orderly manner.  But this is not real life.  And this is definitely not real life here.

We were saying today that it seems to be the case that cars can run fine all year long, until summer teams come, then they will break down… guaranteed.  And that’s just an example.  This summer, and especially this past week, have been riddled with reasons to get bent out of shape.  And we’re tired.  Lets just add that to the mix.

So the question for me actually is not, “Am I flexible?”, but rather, “Do I trust God?”

Do I trust him for the details?  The house that I had been looking at for the girls’ home rented to someone else.  Do I believe the Lord has another house, one that could even be better?  The Clows van is broken again.  Do we trust that the Lord knows how we’ll get everyone to from Armenia this week?  Do I trust that He knows what He is doing?

And then the biggest question of all… Do I trust that the Lord really doesn’t need me and my plan?  Oh, but my plans seem like such good ideas.

I’m reminded of a Caedmon’s Call song called “Two Weeks in Africa”
We put the walls up, but Jesus keeps them standing.
He doesn't need us, but He lets us put our hands in.
So we can see, His love is bigger than you and me.

He doesn’t need us…

In Matthew 16:18 Jesus says “I will build my church”.  He doesn’t say that missionaries will build his church.  But that He will build it.  He is doing it.  He is building His church. 

He knows all the details and He knows us.  He knows our weaknesses.  And He knows Satan’s attack strategy.  And He’s got it under control.  I believe that.  He is building His church.  He IS working in the hearts of people and drawing people to Himself.

Today in gringo church we sang these words…
Forbid it Lord that I should boast, save in the death of Christ my God.

I think I’m seeing a pattern.  I think the Lord is trying to remind me that He is doing this.  It is not about our ministry and what we have to offer.  Its about believing that God is the one who is working and having no choice in the end but to give Him ALL the glory that is due His name.

So I don’t really think I need to be more flexible.  I think I just need a little more faith in a God that is big enough to be the planner and executer.  And He is big enough to be in the details.

A moment…

Today we all laughed out loud in the car.

We were driving down the road when we saw a truck up to the left make a really sharp turn.  It hit the curb and the driver’s side door flew open!  What?!?  The driver is now trying to regain control of his truck and also shut his door at the same time.  But wait, it has no latch.  That’s right.  It is held closed only by the forward momentum of the car.  Awesome.  I only wish I had a picture…

Home

I really do have two places to call home. 

I am so unbelievably blessed.  I felt so loved and encouraged last week to be in NC where things are easy and familiar.  So many people came out to hear about what the Lord is doing in Honduras, and I just felt loved and supported and covered in prayer.  And I need that… more than you know.  So thank you.  And I felt at home.  I felt like I belonged.  My incredible family is there and my best friends and my church family.  It is easy and it is home.

And then there is Honduras.  And I would never call it easy.  In the 2 days of being back I’ve been attacked by man-eating sand fleas that have made my legs look like a mountain range, I have discovered car problems I didn’t know I had, things have broken, things have taken longer than I’d like, I haven’t been able to communicate well, etc.  But this is home and I love it and I’m so glad to be back.

The Lord has given me an unbelievable love for this place and these people.  And he gives me so much joy here.  I have a purpose every day and I get to see the many ways that the Lord is moving in the lives of people.  I love that.  I’m falling in love with children here and I want desperately for them to walk with Jesus.  I don’t always know how to communicate that.  But the Lord is doing it, He is moving in their lives and I get glimpses of it.  And He’s letting me know them and build relationships with them and get to talk to them about the Gospel. 

I missed it while I was gone.

All that to say… I have decided that I’m not going to choose a place to call home.  I’m just going to have two.  And I think that is just fine :)

Family

Love these pictures from mom’s birthday dinner!  Although we were missing Jeremy, Ali, and Bekah…

I love this sweet family!

I got to have a really fun morning at the park with the Peterson family. The kids are so sweet, and I loved playing with them.

I think swinging is one of the things I miss most about being a kid.  And I love the picture of Paige and Wes holding hands! 

Photographer for the day… Lee.

Wes is getting so big!  Look how tall he is! 

This picture is a favorite.  He loves his mama!

Prayer Requests

I did a presentation while I was at home and shared some prayer requests.  So I thought that I would share those on here.  I really appreciate your prayers!

Prayer Requests
Armenia Bonito:
1. For energy to continue working with short-term teams
2. For the kids to really know and understand the grace of God and desire to have a relationship with Him
3. For medical clinic to present opportunities for relationships with adults where we can share the Gospel

Personal Requests:
1. Patience and wisdom as we go through the process of starting a new project
2. Limited culture shock
3. Good time with the Lord in the midst of a busy summer
4. Relationships with team members

Girls’ Home:
1. That the Lord will bring 4 specific girls to live in the Home and wisdom in the decision process
2. That the Lord will provide an “abuela” to live in the home
3. That my meeting with IHNFA (child services) will go smoothly and there will not be too much legal red-tape

Street Children:
1. That Kate will get her support and get to Honduras quickly
2. That we will be able to form a partnership with “The pavement project”
3. For wisdom and discernment as we work with the kids
4. PRACTICAL REQUEST… Jesus Storybook Bibles bilingual version (order off www.BetterWorldBooks.com and send to PO Box 733/La Ceiba, Atlantida/Honduras, Central America/C.P. 31101)

My mom

Today is my mom’s birthday.  I’m so thankful I get to be home to celebrate with her!

A blog post is not sufficient to tell you all the reasons that I love and appreciate and respect my mom, but I’ll try to give you a glimpse…

She taught me what it looks like to love Jesus and be committed to following Him, I cannot remember a day that I didn’t know about the Lord or know that my parents loved God fiercely.  Our house has an open door, sometimes quite literally.  My mom has fed countless people, hosted parties, Bible studies, exchange students, other family members, and at least one homeless family in my memory.  She shows me daily what Godly hospitality looks like.  Also, tough love.  My mom walks the delicate balance of loving people and yet not enabling them.  She would tell you that she is still learning how to do it, but she has already taught me so much.  She supports me.  Always.  In everything.  Whether it was childhood plays or being a missionary, I know that she prays for me and would do literally anything that I needed.  Sometimes that looks like cleaning my house when I move or staying up all night with me when I can’t breathe… I still miss my mom when I’m sick and far from home.  And I love that she loves being a part of my life.  Lastly, I love that she loves Thai food and decided to eat it for her birthday… selfishly b/c it is one of my favorites :)

All that to say… happy birthday mom.  I love you!

Life in pictures

Seriously, I don’t have time to blog this week… so you’re just going to get pictures as I get to it.  Love these of me and Halla.  I was so glad we could be in town at the same time!

Nan

Although she used to threaten to tear my arm off and beat me with the bloody limb when I was being disobedient… she never followed through.

I love my  grandma.  I love the way she loves Jesus passionately and the heart that she has for people to know Him.  I love knowing that she prays for me everyday and that she is my biggest supporter and advocate.  I love her sense of humor.  I love that she shopped around to buy me a purse b/c mine was falling apart and ended up picking out one that I love.  I love that she would be happy to eat nothing but Chocolate Chip Cookies :)  I love that she talks about her cat Fred as if he is a person.  I just think she’s great.

Church Softball

One of the many things I miss about living in NC.  You know… just some of my favorite people out watching softball on a summer night.  Its hot, but not “I need a sweat rag to constantly wipe my face” kind of hot.  And its community and people who know me and have known and loved me for a long time.  This are my “pseudo family” with a couple of newcomers :)  And this wasn’t even all of us.  We bring a pretty great cheering section!

And this is the team that ended second in the league!  Congrats!

Beach trip

Wednesday morning we arrived in Armenia Bonito to a group of children more excited than I have ever seen them before!  They were literally jumping around and yelling and grinning… just full of joy.  We were going to the beach!!!

Even though we live near the coast, the kids don’t get to go to the beach very often b/c they would have to go on the bus and it costs money and their parents aren’t home to take them, etc.  So, this was a real treat!

It was a day full of fun!  I took a float that I have and the kids loved floating on it, although it took them a little while to trust it!  I especially loved putting the little ones who can’t swim on it and taking them out in the waves.  I just really love doing simple things for these kids that to us are so normal, like taking a float out in the ocean, but for them are such a treat!

Erin shared the Gospel with the kids before they ate lunch.  We are just continually praying that these kids will understand grace in a very real way and walk with the Lord.  I just really want them to understand that the Lord loves them fiercely and wants to change their heart.  They have grown to love the song, “From the Inside Out”.  And that is really what I pray for them, that the Lord will change them, starting with their hearts and make it evident in their lives that they belong to Him!