surrender

Surrender. This is a word that we hate. In my mind it means giving up. Surrender means loss. It’s associated with losing something, probably something that we love. In my battle with the Lord right now surrender is a hot spot. In Scripture, God promises that surrender is a good thing. Giving up all of ourselves to the Lord is a good thing and it is for HIS glory and for our good. It really is better to give up all of our mess to Jesus. In my head I believe this. In my heart this still feels like loss. My prayer in the last couple weeks is that the Lord will turn that around. 

I want surrender to feel like victory and not like loss.

But I can’t make that happen. All that I can do is trust that obedience to the Lord looks like surrender. I have to give up my sin and my temptations and my doubts and my fears and all the things that I like holding on to so tightly. I have to trust that He knows what to do with them better than I do. And then, I’m praying that as I slowly peel back my fingers from the vice-grip I have on my heart, that God will allow me to feel free, to feel victory, to experience the joy of knowing that I belong fully to HIM.