Hard

Wednesday I was talking to Kate and she said... "This is the hardest job I've ever had". I agree whole-heartedly. So hard... and yet... worth it. This job is a daily reminder that there is no way that I could ever do it. These ministries belong to the Lord and He alone sustains them.

I cannot be too specific just yet, but I am writing today to beg for your prayers because we are having to make a terribly hard decision. One of our girls is going to have to leave PDE for reasons of behavior. After being given a thousand chances even up to the last second, she has chosen to behave in such a way that she knew would mean she had to leave. Its something that is so hard to understand because in the depths of her heart I know she loves being there and knows its best for her, but she just can't seem to make that match her actions.

I am worried about her, but mainly for the child. We are starting today meetings with the lawyer and judge, phone calls with her family, trying to figure out what we can do that will be best for everyone involved. I love them both so much and want the absolute best for them.

Please pray that this will be the thing that pushes her to Jesus. Pray that God will provide a good place for the child. Pray for peace as we say goodbye and that we will be able to really trust the Lord that He goes with her even as she leaves.

Visas

Tuesday morning I prayed outside the embassy with Nicolle before they went inside... we prayed that we would trust that whatever God gives us is the best thing for us, even when it isn't what we want.

I wish that had stopped me from being nervous, but it didn't :) The two hours that my family was inside having their interviews was terrible! But ended with the great news that Lesther's mom and our three kids have visas to travel to the states! Praise the Lord! We are so excited that we will get to be in NC for Christmas :)

This has been a long process, let me give you just a taste...


Papers sent from Nicolle's mom in Italy, 4 papers sent off to the capital to be apostalized at the office of foreign affairs, passport dates, wrong passports, new passports, wrong information to the embassy, changing of information, kids' moms coming with us everywhere, finding out that grandma has to come too, rental van, Andres having a seziure Monday morning as we get on the road, car sickness, another visit to immigration for more papers... are you tired yet?

I told someone not that long ago that I had no idea how complicated living in another country would be. In the states I think I used a lawyer approximately never. And now I feel like I have him on speed dial and he has more than his fair share of my money!

But I can say with confidence. It is all worth it. To travel with my family, to visit the rest of my family, to meet my friends and my home church... I have never felt so blessed.

Here are some pictures of the Tegucigalpa trip with the crazies:)

Desserts are for Sharing

In case you missed the big news... WE GOT OUR MATCHING GRANT! The Lord brought us $10,000 through your generosity in less than 2 months. I mean... that's incredible. I have turned in the paperwork and now we just wait for the $5000 to come from our other generous donors through MTW!!!

For the first time since March we are not watching numbers to see if we will make it to the end of the month. And its a good feeling. But these months have been so good for me, so much faith building. God has provided every month what we need and always in HIS timing! Praise Him for it and I am praying that I will not get comfortable, but continue to trust in His provision and timing.

Desserts are for Sharing


Thats a true statement right? I love a big Molten Lava Cake at Chilis with 5 spoons passed around :)

But this is a little different! Starting today I am signing people up for Desserts are for Sharing. I will be in the Raleigh area January 8th - 19th with the purpose of sharing about the ministry of Puerta de Esperanza and I am praying for MONTHLY DONORS for the ministry!

When I think back to how the Lord provided my monthly donors four years ago when I left for the field (can you believe its been almost 4 years???) it happened mostly through meeting with small groups of 6-8 people, sharing, and answering questions about the ministry. The tricky, and yet wonderful news, is that most of the people that I met with now support us!! But that means I don't really know who else to contact. So if you have a few friends who may be interested, a small group at your church, a prayer group, people who have a heart for missions... would you consider hosting a night of Desserts are for Sharing? The Lord has been so faithful to us and I would love to share about that with whoever will listen!

If you would like to host a small group please email me at ssinnes@gmail.com. It would be great to have some afternoon times and some evening times, we could even make dessert waffles and have breakfast :)

Success Stories

Wednesday we celebrated! The girls have a new behavior system in the house... they get signatures for completing their daily responsibilities and then they get scored from 1-5 on attitudes/caring for their babies/respect/etc.

K has had some really hard days since moving in to PDE. She has a hard time controlling her temper and her tongue. She is the youngest and the newest and fights for attention. In our new bahavior system if you get two grades below 4 in a week you are given a stricter schedule, more responsibilities, and harder consequences. She was the first one to have to hit phase two of behavior control because she just couldn't get it together. And then... she did. :) Last week she got all of her signatures plus scored 5s in every category every day!!!! Her attitude has been excellent, she goes over and above to be helpful and serve the other girls. She is caring well for her son and spending time with him. She is changing! So we celebrated.

And the coolest part is that the other girls were excited for her! They congratulated her and made it a big deal... I love that :)

In other successful news... I have GREAT news! We officially reached our matching grant!!!!!!! I am stunned. It has been less than 2 months since I posted that we needed $10,000 and God has provided it through YOU! So... thank you just doesn't even seem like anough. I think I will settle to say that God must get all the glory because only He who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and all the money in the world could have provided so quickly!

We still need monthly donors, but for now we are just celebrating God's provision!

Global Missions Conference

This past week I went to MTW's Global Mission's Conference in Greenville, SC. It was wonderful. It was also exhausting truth be told :) But I would go again! And probably will... shameless plug... you should go in three years whoever you are, wherever you are... its worth the effort to get there!

We had a team Honduras booth and got to hang out with our teammates who are on HMA (home ministry assignment in the states) who we hadn't seen in about 4 months! And we got to hang out with our teammates who are still in training and raising support mode trying to get to the field. We talked to tons of people interested in ministry, in Honduras, in what Jesus is doing around the world.

Personally I ran into people I haven't seen since my trainings with MTW which were almost 4 years ago, can you believe that?!? It was so fun to see where everyone is now and how they have seen God at work.

I also ran into church people and college friends and all manner of others who have a heart for taking Jesus' Gospel to the nations.

The conference itself was great and challenging and just a good reminder as to why we are here and what God has called us to do. Truth by told my favorite part of the whole conference was a break-out session by one of the RUF ministers where I furiously scribbled 4 1/2 pages of notes in 40 minutes. He was teaching on evangelism, and where usually find myself disagreeing with talks on evangelism, this time I felt like everything clicked. Its not evangelism itself I disagree with of course, just methodology. For the first time I was hearing someone teach on what I do, have done, and believe is the most effective way to reach people relationally with the Gospel. I was so very encouraged.

All that to say. I recommend this conference and when they have it again, you should go.

Also we printed up WAY too much material so if you want a prayer card and don't have one, I have about 800 so just let me know and I'll get you one.

One big reason for going to the conference was making contacts for possible new supporters, missions conferences where I can speak, new church connections, etc. We still need about $2800/month to be at budget. If you know of people, churches, missions conferences, etc. that would like to hear a missionary talk about single moms, please let me know!

Mara

She lives here in Ceiba and for various reasons I will not use her real name, but I will call her Mara. Although not a candidate for PDE, she is a single mom that I have had the chance to get to know... she is young, loves her son, but has no idea how to be a mom. This is such a timeless story in this place. It is un-countable the number of young single moms who want to do the right thing, but don't know how. And for every one of those there is one that doesn't even know how to even love their children at all.

But Mara... she loves her son and I really believes she wants to be the best possible mom to him, but how? And as I get to know her I see with such clarity that it will be impossible for her to be the mom that he needs until she knows Jesus. She is stubborn, insecure, bitter, and just plain unhappy. I think he is the only thing that makes her smile... but she is so unaware of just how miserable she is. I think she just doesn't know that there could be something more.

I begged the Lord last night that she would know joy and peace. That she would know Jesus. For His glory, for her salvation, and for her son to have a mom who can raise him in the knowledge of the Lord.

As I walk through this journey called parenthood myself I really am more drawn to believe that it is impossible without Jesus. I need His grace in large measure as I act and react to my children, as I do the wrong thing. I need to be able to trust that ultimately they are in His hands because I lack the wisdom I need to be everything that they need. And most importantly, I can't change their stubborn little hearts any more than I can change Mara's. That is the work of the Holy Spirit to make them and form them and draw them to Jesus.

Please join me in praying for this young mom who doesn't even know how deep her own need. And pray for the many like her who I just haven't met yet...

A little joy

A little joy for your morning today.

In being a month of thanksgiving, today I just want to take a minute to thank the Lord for the work that He is doing in Puerta de Esperanza.  Every day I see little glimpses of how much the girls are growing and changing.  I am thankful for the local church that has taken them in and welcomed them.  I am thankful for our two house moms who see this as a ministry, not just a job.  I am thankful for my husband and kids who support this ministry and are willing to take on 8 new members to our family for all kinds of special events and celebrations at a moments notice.  I am thankful that these girls have gifts and skills that I don't have and that it gives them great joy to teach me Spanish, Honduran cooking, street smarts, whatever.  And most of all I am thankful for Jesus and that this ministry belongs to Him.

A blast from the past

I have been going through old pictures while preparing for the global missions conference.  I'm trying to put together a photo storyline for Puerta de Esperanza.  And it has been so fun to look back and see how much things have changed, especially how much the babies have grown!  Look how little they were! :)

We have come a long way from the first few days and weeks.  The girls are so much more independent, making money now on their own.  They are responsible for cooking and cleaning.  Remember me writing about the grocery shopping incidents?  We had tears over green pepper for goodness sake?!?  And now they grocery shop like pros and know where to get the best deals and how to make their money stretch.  They came knowing no one in the city and they have made friends and become part of a church community.  Now we have birthday parties and have to cut down the guest list because they have people they love and trust and care about and they want them in their lives.

When they came not one of them knew about grace.  And now, whether they have accepted it or not, they have heard countless times the truth of the Gospel.  They know that the Lord loves them, that He is full of forgiveness and love towards them.  That He paid the penalty for their sin because He is just and that sin had to be paid.  But his own Son, whom He loves took that sin and suffered its consequences so that God would be glorified and they could enter into His family.  We talk about these truths every day and for the last year and half they have heard them.  Keep praying for the truth about Jesus to change their lives!  It has, and is, and will continue to do so.