Good news

Yesterday morning I was so nervous.  We drove the 6-7 hour drive to Tegucigalpa to pick up our sweet girl from the program she has been in for about 20 days.  They had told me she was better, but they couldn’t tell me anything medical and I quite honestly didn’t believe them.  I just had so much fear that things would be just the same as when we dropped her off 3 weeks ago.

But the Lord is a healer and He is full of goodness and grace.  I entered the hospital to find a girl with a huge smile on her face, overjoyed to see us, and SO ready to leave :)  She is taking medicine, responding well, not having any really bad side effects.  She has a diagnosis and its not nearly as serious as what we first thought.  She hated being there and I think will do anything in her power to not have to go back, which means I think she’s really going to do her part to get better.  The doctor there was really great, I couldn’t believe how well he seemed to know and understand her after such a short time.  He was really helpful and I think will continue to support us as we need him.  We got back last night to big hugs from everyone and a baby who was SOOO excited to see his mom!

We have a follow-up visit with a doctor here tomorrow, so just pray that we will be able to get everyone on the same page with her treatment and that she will continue to improve.

On another note of things I’m thankful for…
1. The car made it all the way there and back after a rough start overheating an hour outside of La Ceiba
2. They let Lesther go back to talk to the doctor with me because I could not understand everything the fast talking doctor was saying
3. Sweet friend Nikki from language school who let us stay with her for the night
4. Tegucigalpa has cinnabon, chilis, and walmart!
5. Constant reminders that the Lord is good and that nothing is a surprise to Him.  This is His ministry and these are His girls, He loves them way more than I do and walks with me as I learn how to be His hands and feet to them.

June 2012 blog

Behind

I find it impossible to catch up in the blogging world once I’ve missed it for awhile.  So I don’t even really try.  But this week I wanted to share just a few really neat moments and thank yous.

1. Short-term teams… I’m not spending much time with short-term teams this year b/c of the nature of my ministry.  But this week we had a few doctors here, one of whom is a surgeon.  It was a huge blessing b/c little E had a big infected welt on his face that was getting worse and worse.  Instead of having to sit all day at the clinic we went and had hot dogs and got treated right there at the dorms.  It was terrible to hold him down while he screamed, but a little slice, some antibiotics, and a few days later, he is doing awesome!  So thanks short-term teams for all that you do :)

2. Mixed up Ministries… Kate already wrote a blog post about this, but I just loved this day.  Wednesday I was staying at PDE with the girls and Kate and Jansen came by to visit.  One of the street boys stopped by to get a haircut from Y, C was in the kitchen making tortillas for the short-term team, and all of our ministries were just all mixed up.  But I love it.  I love that the Lord keeps showing us how this all fits together.

3. The store… we may actually get a used clothing store one of these days.  We were waiting for some paperwork that I finally got this week and got translated to send to MTW.  Hopefully we are close to getting the funds released to get started! 

I will say… this past month has been a costly one for us with hospital stays, a trip to Tegucigalpa, expensive medicine, etc.  So if you want to make a donation, please do!  The MTW donation page is here.  And the code is 92413.  Thanks!

A picture of God’s faithfulness

Wednesday night we finally got all these little footprints hung up on the wall.  I just love looking at them and the little people that the represent and the sweet moms that brought them into the world.  It is really amazing to see how the Lord is changing these 6 hearts that He brought into Puerta de Esperanza.  This week we started going through the book, “The 5 Love Languages” with the girls.  Chapter 2 talked about how kids have a tank of love that needs to be filled up with more than just material provision but really knowing your kids and how they receive love and speaking to them in their language so that they will know that they are loved and secure.  Wow.  The girls had never thought about that before, no one loved them that way when they were kids.  They don’t know how to love like that.  They are convinced that people in the world only love someone else when they want something from them, they don’t know unconditional love or love that forgives and has patience.  They are learning, but its all new to them.  And we got to talk about the LORD and how great His love is for us and that once you really get that then you will able to love each other and love your kids.  They are learning and growing and changing and its so cool to be a part of it!  Please keep praying for us!

Team Honduras

I love these people, and also this picture :)  This is Team Honduras for the summer… all of us who are here all the time plus our 4 awesome interns who are here to help with summer teams.  Really, these people are my family here and have been so supportive, especially in the past few weeks.  I am SO thankful for them!

Pettengill Family – Mike is team leader and they work in Armenia Bonito
Clow Family – All things construction, summer team hospitality, and so much more
Troxells – Work in La Fe
Kate – Work with street kids
Allen, Jeff, Keilah, Becka – Summer interns

Sweet Provision and a little bit of Normalcy

As I wrote before the last few weeks have been crazy and just plain hard.  I was caring for a mom and her one and a half year old baby right here in my own home, really my own bedroom.  It was a 24 hour job of watching, not leaving them alone, fighting with her to get her to be a mom, giving up and just loving on the little guy myself, trying to have wisdom for when to fight and when to just let it go.  It was exhausting and honestly I didn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

But the Lord always knows.  He always knows what is best, even when its an option that I don’t even know exists or something that I had given up on already.

Tuesday I was done.  Exhausted, impatient, frustrated, just done.  But the Lord gave me a light, a glimmer of hope.  Maybe the hospital in Teguc would accept her after all… maybe there is a place that she could go for a little while and be safe and be cared for by people who actually know what they’re doing… and the Lord provided a way.  Wednesday morning we received the order from the doctor and early afternoon we were on the road.

Wednesday night was so hard for me on a personal level.  I had heard bits and pieces of her story before but never the whole thing hashed out like this in a 2 hour monologue as the doctor asked probing question after probing question.  It broke my heart that she has lived so long with so much pain and confusion and guilt.  And it was so hard to leave her because she was scared and sad and near tears as she clung to me one last time.

Thursday morning I saw her again, one last time before coming back to Ceiba, and what I saw in her was different… it was hope.  She doesn’t love that she has to be there, but they are helping her.  They are doing tests and trying medicine and for the first time I think she realizes she might not have to live like this forever.  There is HOPE – ESPERANZA that the Lord may give her a different future where she is better and really able to be the mom that she wants to be.  And that makes me excited.

We serve a God who is the ultimate healer.  Please join me in praying over the next month while she is there that the Lord would really give the doctors wisdom in treating her, that she would have someone there who she can really trust and talk to, and that the Lord would keep giving her hope that is really rooted in Him.  I’m excited to see what the Lord does.  And also, so excited that the Lord provided a way for the baby to stay with us in Puerta de Esperanza while she is gone and not have to go into foster care.  The Lord is so good even when I feel like my life is spinning out of control.  So thankful for that.

heavy

These past few weeks have been heavy and just hard.  I finally said out loud on Saturday night that I have reached my breaking point.  I can’t share details, but I have been caring for someone who is too much for me.  I don’t have the tools that I need or the wisdom to really be able to help.  That’s frustrates me.  So I’m trying to find help and that’s not easy either.  And that makes me angry.  I want to be in Cary, NC where I know where to go and who to talk to and people don’t turn you away from the emergency room.  I’m frustrated that there are not options and that I just don’t know what else to do.  I’m frustrated that medication has side effects and I can’t decide which is worse, the sickness or the side effects.  I just feel helpless.

I pride myself on helping.  That’s what I do.  I have a savior complex and I want to be able to rescue everyone.  Bad news… sometimes I just can’t.  And I need Jesus.  Oh so badly I need Jesus.  And just as importantly, the people I’m ministering don’t need me, they need Jesus.  I pray that I will remember this and live it as I try to figure out tomorrow, as I try to set good boundaries and move forward. 

But I want to praise the Lord for what my girls are learning.  They are learning to pitch in and to help.  They are learning that life is not all about them.  They are learning what it likes to love sacrificially and how to be a real family.  I am so very thankful for these lessons.  I wouldn’t trade them.  

The sweetest

Is this not the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen?  E just kept kissing W on the head.  A welcome break from the normal toy throwing episodes :)  It just made my heart happy!

Just another week…

This week my car broke down.  Again.  I haven’t even written on this blog just how many times my car has broken down.  In the last few weeks its been the shocks, the fuel pump, and this time a cracked radiator.  I’m learning so much about cars.  I wish I could say I was enjoying it.

Also I got a new phone.  But apparently I’m also losing my mind.  I’ve had a lot going on, I’m a little on the stressed out side, and apparently I can’t remember anything.  So Tuesday night my new phone must have fallen out of the car when I got out with a sleeping baby in my arms and when I went to look for it the next morning, it was gone.  Alas.  Thankfully I had insurance on it so I went to get a new one.  Oh, I wish it was that easy.  Nope!  I’m on the church plan now, so I had to go get the church to give my some paperwork to say it was a stolen phone and another to say that my number really exists.  I got my number back and then had to go report my stolen phone to the police.  Three buildings later and after waiting at each place, they finally sent us to the right building.  “Oh yeah, its quick” they said.  But they are liars.  G had a doctors appt at 3 and I had planned to get there at 2:30.  We sit down at the police station at 1:15 thinking that’s plenty of time for this quick visit and make it to the doctor at 2:50.  Good grief.  Good news… I jumped through all the hoops and although I had to spend a little more money it wasn’t terrible and I have another new phone.  Phew.

You know those days you leave the house in the morning thinking that you’ll be back in an hour and then you pull up starving at 7:30pm b/c you still haven’t eaten?  I’ve had two of those days this week. 

Summer must be coming.  Do something awesome Lord Jesus b/c Satan is not happy that we are here.