Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

A year ago I was still in language school in Costa Rica with four months to go until I finished.  I was dreaming and scheming and planning with absolutely zero concrete information about what life and starting a ministry in Honduras would look like.  I was unrealistic and over-confident.  There are things that I thought would be easy and things that I thought would move quickly that have panned out to be neither quick nor easy. 

And then I got here.  Life was not anything like what I had expected.

Summer teams were hard and not always joyful because I was tired and in culture shock and unsure where to focus my time and energy.  The blessing of a car to drive around turned into my biggest sense of anxiety since it broke down all the time.  My amazing team (which is still amazing) turned out to be only human after all and we had misunderstandings and I cried my way through team meeting.  I had red ants biting me while I slept at night and I sweated more than I had previously thought was humanly possible.

And yet…

Eight months later I cannot even count the blessings the Lord has given to me since moving to Honduras.  I live in a house that I love with roommates that I love and that push me to Jesus.  I am one step away from opening a home for young single moms that is only possible because the Lord clearly went before us in every step.  I get to minister daily to boys who spend their days on the streets acting tough, but then love to sit on the floor and do puzzles and curl up on the couch and watch Elf and Rio.  I get to talk about Jesus every day and have the ability to do so in Spanish, which is a miracle of the Lord in and of itself.  My money pit of a car has allowed me to make friends and get to talk about Jesus with people I otherwise would never have met.  My team is a great source of encouragement and joy and we genuinely enjoy each other’s company.  My family and friends have gotten to visit and see my life here and they constantly pray for me and encourage me.

And I’ve learned.  I’ve learned so much about how needy I am for the Lord and for His wisdom.  I am painfully aware daily of how little I have to offer.  I know nothing about poverty and wealth and how to reconcile one with the other.  I struggle to share Christ with kids on a daily basis in a way that makes sense for their life.  I doubt that God is really going to provide what we need for Puerta de Esperanza in a timely manner.  I forget about all the ways He has already provided.  And so I sit.  And I pray.  And as a home, we are learning to devote our lives and days to the Lord and His wisdom and power because we have so very little to offer.  And praise Him for it because He alone has the power to change hearts and lives and draw people to Himself and offer real hope and redemption. 

I would love to make it my New Years Resolution to remember the goodness of the Lord and His faithfulness in my life and then trust Him completely with every day.  But I know that my heart is slow and stupid and there will be so many days that I forget.  But it doesn’t change His character.  He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  And He will continue to show His grace and goodness every day of 2012.

New Years Eve

“As this year draws to a close, receive My peace.  This is still your deepest need, and I, your Prince of Peace, long to pour Myself into your neediness.  My abundance and your emptiness are a perfect match.  I designed you to have no sufficiency of your own.  I created you as a jar of clay, set apart for sacred use.  I want you to be filled with My very being, permeated through and through with Peace.”   - Sarah Young

Driving in the mountains…

We live in a beautiful place

Gingerbread House Fun

Christmas was different this year, but so relaxing and fun.  I woke up to skype with my family and open my stocking with them.  Then Kate and I did advent and stockings here.  We had a few friends stop by to bring tamales and others just to visit.  And then we’d invited some of the boys over to hang out with us for the afternoon.  We watched Polar Express, made a gingerbread house, and ate homemade chicken nuggets.  Here are some fun gingerbread house pictures from our day :)

Less is More

In our Christmas activities with the kids, the Lord is teaching us an important lesson… less is more.  We had the Christmas party and thought we would have tons of kids, but we had 6.  And it was the perfect number.  And then on Wednesday for the concert we thought we would have a big group and then we had 7 (including a friend’s son).  And again, it was a so nice.

Caitlin and her sister Anna, Kate, me, David, Solomon, and Lester were all adults in attendance.  Which means each kid got some individual attention.  We could sit with them, hang out with them.  David wrote an off the cuff song for Jose.  We had way too much pizza.  But we had time to just hang out with them instead of having to bark orders to a whole group of rowdy kids.

I think they loved it.  The concert was excellent.  It really feels like Christmas to me now.  The kids clapped and sang Feliz Navidad and almost fell asleep because they usually go to bed at 7 :)  They gave the Christmas story from Joseph’s perspective and plainly shared the Gospel.  Yesterday I got to use that as a starting point to talk to two of the boys and I think they were really listening.

Sadly one of our boys that is dearest to our hearts has found his teenage attitude the past couple of weeks.  I think all you moms out there know what I’m talking about.  Slow to follow directions or choosing to do the opposite of what you just said, even when there is no visible advantage to being blatantly disobedient.  So… that was our hard moment of the night, having to tell him he can’t come spend Christmas with us because of His behavior.  But we pray that He sees Jesus in us, even in the tough love, and that our friendship with him will be better off for it in the long run.

Less kids but more conversation about Jesus.  I’ll take it.

Christmas concert

When I think Christmas concert I think Peace Church.  Mary did you Know, Happy Birthday Jesus, all manner of congregational talent, and special memories of singing with my dad and Gary Hodge (and other family members when we could talk them into it).

This years’ Christmas concert experience will be a little different!  My church here, Gran Comision, is having a big Christmas concert with a Gospel presentation through drama.  I have no idea what that really means except that they are going to clearly share the Gospel in Spanish, which is exactly what our kids need to hear day after day.  It’s a big deal and will be packed out.  We’re taking around 15 people ourselves.

Usually I tell you about stuff we do with the kids after the fact, but today I’m asking you to pray.  Wednesday night 9 of our kids will hear the Gospel clearly, please pray that God opens their ears to hear His Word.

And I’m excited for the music :)  Feels like its really Christmas.

Different Kind of Christmas

“It takes the whole Bible to tell this Story.  And at the center of the Story there is a baby.  Every Story in the Bible whispers His name.  He is like the missing piece in a puzzle – the piece that makes all the other pieces fit together, and suddenly you can see a beautiful picture.  And this is no ordinary baby.  This is the child upon whom everything would depend.  This is the child who would one day – but wait.  Our story starts where all good stories start.  Right at the very beginning…”   Jesus Storybook Bible

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder,and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it
with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore.  The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this.” 
Isaiah 9:6-7

Its going to be really sad to not be home on Christmas.  I know that when I skype with my family on Christmas day and they are all there together without me, it will be so hard on my heart.  I come from a family of great Christmas traditions and a busy Christmas Day.  One of my favorite parts of Christmas is that everyone is invited.  We have a huge Christmas dinner and anyone who doesn’t have a place to go is invited.  I have never had to worry about offending my mom because I invited someone else to eat with us.  Christmas is such a special time for us.  But its also busy.

This Christmas season is so different.  We had a party for kids at our house, but it centered around the reading of the Christmas story.  We have prayed together every morning and taken time to do advent every Sunday (a tradition I’m thankful to my parents for starting).  There isn’t commercialism every time I look around, instead there is poverty.  We don’t ask the kids here what they want for Christmas, because they probably aren’t getting anything.  We have had to think of ways to bless them without just giving things away because giving tends to make them greedier.  So we have to remember.  What is Christmas?  What is it really about?  What can we give them that is lasting?

This is not to say that we will not give any Christmas gifts this year or not have Christmas movies playing (Kate is obsessed with Elf in Spanish) or not have a pile of Christmas cookies in the kitchen.  And when we go to the mall the forth floor of Carrion is a Christmas commercialism explosion.  But here, in my house, with these kids, I can remember.  Jesus was poor.  God sent his Son from His right hand to become poor.  This means more to me this year than ever before.  And its hard to swallow.  He was not what the world expected.  But He was the missing piece of the puzzle and God knew He was exactly the type of Savior that we needed.

Christmas Party

‘Tis the season for parties and good food, stories and cut-out snowflakes!  Well, that’s the story around here anyway :)

Christmas tree project!

Tortilla snowflakes decorated with colored sugar.  Thanks Pintrest :)

What’s a party without puzzles?

Christmas story from the Jesus Storybook Bible… the kids were really good listeners today!

And good food made my Jeffrey’s mom.  Delicious!

reading

This is just cuteness.

Newsletter - December 2011

Hey all... due to my recent "no posting photos online without permission" conviction, I am going to omit the photo page from my newsletters on my blog.  If you would like to get my newsletter by email with the photos attached, please send me your email address to ssinnes@gmail.com.  Thanks!

December 2011 Blog

Pavement Project put to use

This week I’ve gotten to start using the pavement project with some of our kids.  It makes it totally worth it all the time that we put in learning the process and the stories.  I love getting to sit with them and talk to them about Jesus and how he is near them in their sadness and how special they are to Him.

Their pictures are so telling.  They draw a picture before and after that shows what they compare themselves to in that moment.  One child this week drew a deer at the beginning.  This deer was lonely and sad and running alone through the mountains.  At the end he drew a sheep that was near the shepherd and had been found by Him.

I’m so thankful for this tool that the Lord put in our hands!

Knowing Love

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to not know that you were loved by someone?  Cherished by someone?  Important to someone?  Honestly, I don’t give a lot of thought to it.  I am so very blessed to have people in my life who love and support me, and not only that, but they tell me so I don’t have to guess.  I knew growing up that my parents loved me, but more than that, I was always confident that God loved me and cared deeply about me personally.

Last night I asked one of our regular visitors to the house what was the best thing that had ever happened to him in his life.  He took awhile to think about it, but when he answered, it was emphatic.  “Being here with you guys.”  Being a little taken aback, I tried to make sure that was really the best thing that had ever happened to him by asking more questions, but when I asked why he answered simply and without having to think about it.  “Because you love me.”

Wow.  What does that mean?  Does that mean that maybe he has never known before in his 11 years that he is loved?  It brought me to tears.  Could it be that God would use us to offer love and grace and security to this little boy in a way that he would know from this day on that he is loved.  Not just by us, but also by Jesus.

It was a precious time with him.  I got to share how much Jesus loves children, to the point of correcting his disciples because he wanted to the children to come to Him so He could bless them.  And I got to tell him the story of the shepherd and the lost sheep and that Jesus will always be there for him because he is just as important to the Lord as that one sheep was to the shepherd.

Please pray for this little one to sleep peacefully tonight knowing that He is loved by the one who will never leave him and never let him down.

The roommate dynamic is complete

About three weeks ago, Kate arrived and brought lots of joy and laughter to the house!  We’re not really sure what we did without her.

Kate is here primarily to start a drop-in center for street kids.  Oh the process… it will take some time before that actually comes to fruition.  In the meantime, she’s adjusting to life here and eagerly loving on the kids that we already know.

It has been a joy to get to know her and have her join our team and our lives here.  Kate has a compassionate heart that comes out toward every hungry child we see by the side of the road, but also towards her roommates.  She has loved and served us well already.  She is hilarious and crafty and has already made our home a prettier place to live.  And we have loved just bouncing ideas off of each other.  One of the things that we just really need here to people to process with.  We have no idea what we’re doing, if we’re honest.  So every morning we pray and just beg the Lord to show us what the day will hold. 

Please pray for Kate as she continues to adjust to life here and goes through transition of missing family and familiar things.

Blankets, crackers, flags, oh my!

Terry came to visit last week and brought some great presents!  It was like Christmas came early to open up her suitcase and see all the fun stuff that she brought!

Beautiful quilts made by Sharon!  She whipped them out fast and they are amazing.  I’m going to have some very happy girls!

the spread… hats from Janet…

Blankets from Kitty… and they are SO soft and where a complete surprise when they came.  I did not know that she was making them!

Also a surprise, this fun flag for Puerta de Esperanza made by Amy.  It was my grandma’s idea and she delegated and it turned out great!

And then fun stuff for me :)  Joannie’s rollo cookies were a huge favorite!  And everything else too of course!

Thank you to everyone who sent fun stuff for us and for Puerta de Esperanza!  You bless us more than you know!

New Website!

Hey everyone!  Wow… I’m so behind on blogging.  But I’ll start with something exciting!

MTW has a new website!  Check it out here…

I love the new logo.  It looks great!

But it also means that there is a new way to give money… go here to donate money to my personal ministry budget or Puerta de Esperanza.

Here are the account numbers…
Shannon #13520
Puerta de Esperanza #92413

If the Lord is calling you to support our ministry in Honduras, please consider giving to Puerta de Esperanza.  We are trying to set a start date for the first week of January.  But we’re waiting to announce it for sure until we have our paperwork in hand! 

Another way to support our ministry is to give to the school supplies drive by December 31st.  Please contact Mike Pettengill at mikepettengill@yahoo.com if you want to make a monetary donation instead of shipping supplies.

Just another day

I think I’m done saying “Its been one of those days”… b/c there seem to be a lot of them recently, so maybe they aren’t the exception so much as the rule.

The Pit, now also named Beelzebub, is back in action causing all kinds of problems with the AC and radiator.  Awesome.

The good news.  The Lord has given me so much peace.  Its just a car.  It will not steal my joy!

Good things in the last two days…
1. Terry is here!  Love that.
2. So much forward motion.  Even in the midst of seemingly unproductive days, the Lord is moving us forward meeting the right people, scheduling interviews, organizing baby clothes, etc.
3. We’ve had great roommate prayer times
4. We love our boys who hang out with us… they just make me smile.