Its taken me a long time to get up the energy to write this post. Mostly because I've just been sad and processing and reminding myself to trust God in the midst of all things.
One of the hardest things about being pregnant and on bed rest is being more removed from the every day life and ministry going on at PDE. We moved in two new girls, as you know, and I was lucky to get to have a conversation with them once a week. This is the extreme opposite of how life has been up to now at PDE where I was actively involved in their adjustment and processing that with them.
They all go through phases you know... the first month we don't allow them to have contact with their families or anyone from their past to give them time to adjust to the home. This brings out lots of insecurities and fears, even if they have left a hard situation to get to us. They all say they want to leave... some of them every day, some of them just once or twice when they are really having a hard time adjusting. But most of them make it through the month just fine and by the end are happy to see their moms, but even more glad they decided to stick it out at the house.
Remember how I told you that things were tricky with K's paperwork and mom didn't sign right away? Well... also social services in Honduras was disbanded and is now being reworked and everything is changing. So two weeks went by and we still had no paperwork for her in the house. What this means is that we had no recourse if she wanted to leave or if mom wanted to come and take her.
Last Sunday night I got a call from Oneyda that K wanted to leave and was threatening to just walk out the door if we didn't take her home. Usually its me getting to have these conversations about leaving and processing and I make no decisions about a girl leaving until I am sure its what she really wants and that she really understands that it is HER choice. I never want them to feel like they are being abandoned or kicked out, they have had enough of that in their lives. But this time, it was out of my hands. I had to trust my house moms that they knew where her heart was and that she was ready to leave.
Monday I got by long enough to talk to her for about an hour, but honestly, I wasn't fully convinced she was ready to leave... again hard because I haven't really gotten the chance to know her. Monday afternoon I had to be at home in the bed when it all went down, and it wasn't pretty. It wasn't handled well on many fronts and by the end everyone was frustrated and angry and she was home with her mom. I am not at all blaming my house moms, I think that they were more gracious than I would have been in their place. I didn't get to say goodbye and although I have spoken with her on the phone, I know she is angry. It is ugly and sad and just discouraging when something that is supposed to be helpful ends up so frustrating.
I trust that God had a plan for bringing her to PDE for two weeks. For two weeks she saw a different way to live, she was treated with respect and love instead of anger and frustration. She saw people trying to love and serve one another. And I just pray that it will stay with her, the good things. That she won't just remember Monday afternoon, but that she will remember that heard the Good News of the Gospel and that it is good news indeed!
Please pray for K as she transitions back to being with her mom. Pray for her heart to be softened to the Gospel. Pray that she would not have such bitterness and anger towards those of us at PDE and the other missionaries who work in her community. Pray for real transformation in her life and that God would save her... and not just her, but her baby girl as well. She is out of our reach, but she is never out of God's hands. For that, I am thankful.
No comments:
Post a Comment