Welcome to the Family

For those of you who are part of God's family, you have a new sister!

Last week I got to hang out with C and take her shopping.  She had earned some extra money for clothes and we had a great time just spending time together and getting to talk about deep things for the first time since she moved in.  I have been so sad to not get as much one-on-one time with her as I wish that I could, but God has been gracious and provided others to speak His truth into her life.  Doña Oneyda has been talking with her about her salvation and Amy has been leading her through a Bible study on the basics of the Gospel.

I asked her what she has learned since coming to Puerta de Esperanza and her response encouraged me and blew me away at how quickly God can change a heart.

I have spent such a long time feeling pressure to live up to God's rules for my life.  I just knew that I had to be good for Him to love me and to be able to go to heaven.  It was so hard because I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I always did things wrong.  I have learned in Bible study and through all the  many Scriptures that Amy has shown me that God's love isn't like that.  He gives me His love as a free gift.  He sent me His son to make a bridge for me to get to Him.  I just have to trust in Him and He will give me forgiveness and grace.  I feel so free.

Thanks be to the Lord!  And a huge thank you to Amy who stepped in to help with PDE at the last minute and has been an amazing blessing.

This is why we do what we do.  The ultimate goal is not to give girls an education or job skills.  Its not to teach them how to be moms and budget and give them a solid family connection.  Those are all wonderful outcomes :)  But the real reason and purpose that God has called us to this ministry is this... to see them come to know the Lord in a real way and to trust in His grace.  I get giddy excited when I see them understand the Gospel really for the first time!

To that end, I want to make a push here... we still need monthly and one-time supporters.  I will not be able to travel to the states until next fall at the earliest to visit new churches and families to raise more support.  In the meantime, we desperately want to be able to keep accepting new girls into the home and praying that God will give more of them C's story of coming to faith in Him.  Please consider supporting us...  our support number is 92413 for Puerta de Esperanza.  This website tells you how to give online, set up monthly giving, or send a check.

http://www.mtw.org/Pages/GIVE_FAQ.aspx

Baby/Little Girl Dedication

Last night Doña Oneyda and I had the privilege of standing up with Yajaira as her family as she choose to dedicate her four year old daughter Juli to the Lord.  I got a chance to talk to Juli afterwards because she is smart as a whip for a four year old and I knew that she could understand the basics of what this meant...

Do you know that your mommy wanted to make an announcement to her church family about you?  She wants everyone to know that she wants you to learn about Jesus and to grow up to love Him with your whole heart.  She is telling everyone that she loves Jesus and its important to her that you learn everything you can about God from reading the Bible and going to church.  And she wants you to know that Jesus loves you more than anyone here on each could ever love you.  And we are making a promise to pray for you that you will learn more about Jesus every day!

It was a really sweet time, especially knowing the cost that it took for Yajaira to make this decision.  Coming from a very works-based church background, it has taken a long time for her to really recognize and understand God's grace towards her and her need for that in her life.  Dedicating Juli in this particular church meant admitting that she is also ready to follow Jesus with her whole heart and accept His love and grace.  And we were honored to be her family and stand beside her!

Could it be a family?

Just this one picture makes my heart so happy, you have no idea!  These are all girls who have left PDE of their own stubborn will.  They each went out frustrated in some way looking for a better life, something they were certain they would find beyond the 4 walls of the PDE house.  And yet, Sunday afternoon when the two girls who actually currently live at PDE weren't home, this is the family that filled up the living room and then all went to church together :)

B is moving back to La Ceiba in November, probably to live with C when she moves out and to help take care of W.  You can be praying for her daughter, G, who is going to turn 2 in January.  She has a pretty serious problem with her legs, they turn in from the knees down.  She has learned to stand and walk, but it is difficult and will definitely effect her in the future if she doesn't get treatment.  We are going to help her get to the orthopedic doctor this week and hopefully we can help some with treatment as necessary.  We are so glad she is going to be closeby again!

K and O are living with me during my pregnancy.  Since going on bed rest, K has taken over all the cooking and cleaning and laundry and is a huge blessing to me.  She had moved back in with her mom, but her step dad was kicking her out since he owns the house and she isn't his daughter.  Her birth father owns a house, but won't let her live there saying that only the children he has with his current woman have rights to his things.  It has been a difficult time for her, but I am so proud of her for pushing through, continuing to study, and giving up some of her pride and bitterness that she had when she first left PDE.  She still goes to school every night and we are able to help by watching O for her.  Now that I'm up some she and I work together to take car of the house and she is really enjoying being a part of our family for a little while.  She is still a bit of hardened mystery in relation to the things of the Lord, but she is going to church with us and we talk quite a bit about Jesus.  Please pray for her as well!

Y and J are still doing well, renting an apartment and Y is working constantly to be able to pay all of her living expenses.  These past couple months have been really low at work and she works for commission, so she has experienced some real sadness and depression feeling like she is working hard, but never able to get ahead.  She loves to spend weekends at our house or at PDE where she knows that she is with her family and is encouraged to keep moving forward.  We have been helping her some with medical needs because she had a bad rash break out all over her legs for months and just recently we have found a treatment that seems to be working.  Today she will present Juli in front of the church in a baby dedication.  This has been a long time coming and she is finally really decided that she wants to follow the Lord in a church that teaches God's grace and goodness and she wants Juli to grow up learning about Jesus.  So we are beyond excited for her and we will be there to love and support them tonight!

Intern

Puerta de Esperanza is in need of an intern!!!  With the addition of twins into our family early next year, and the new baby coming to PDE hopefully in November, things are going to be busy next year.  We still pray for a full house with four girls and every new girl that moves in needs special personal attention.  As is the case with being on bed rest, I will never be out of the picture, but we will definitely have a "maternity leave" of adjustment time for our family after the twins are born!

So, if you fit the mold or know someone who does, PLEASE let them know that there is an opportunity here in Honduras to love on these girls and babies and teach them about Jesus!

Requirements:
* Loves Jesus
* Spanish speaker
* 21 years old or older
* Able to make a 6 month commitment
* Desires to invest in the lives of young moms and tell them about Jesus

If you're interested, send me an email at ssinnes@gmail.com and I'll put you in touch with all the right people at MTW to start the process.

Who wouldn't want to hang out with these awesome girls and babies???

A Week Later

Its taken me a long time to get up the energy to write this post.  Mostly because I've just been sad and processing and reminding myself to trust God in the midst of all things.

One of the hardest things about being pregnant and on bed rest is being more removed from the every day life and ministry going on at PDE.  We moved in two new girls, as you know, and I was lucky to get to have a conversation with them once a week.  This is the extreme opposite of how life has been up to now at PDE where I was actively involved in their adjustment and processing that with them.

They all go through phases you know... the first month we don't allow them to have contact with their families or anyone from their past to give them time to adjust to the home.  This brings out lots of insecurities and fears, even if they have left a hard situation to get to us.  They all say they want to leave... some of them every day, some of them just once or twice when they are really having a hard time adjusting.  But most of them make it through the month just fine and by the end are happy to see their moms, but even more glad they decided to stick it out at the house.

Remember how I told you that things were tricky with K's paperwork and mom didn't sign right away?  Well... also social services in Honduras was disbanded and is now being reworked and everything is changing.  So two weeks went by and we still had no paperwork for her in the house.  What this means is that we had no recourse if she wanted to leave or if mom wanted to come and take her.

Last Sunday night I got a call from Oneyda that K wanted to leave and was threatening to just walk out the door if we didn't take her home.  Usually its me getting to have these conversations about leaving and processing and I make no decisions about a girl leaving until I am sure its what she really wants and that she really understands that it is HER choice.  I never want them to feel like they are being abandoned or kicked out, they have had enough of that in their lives.  But this time, it was out of my hands.  I had to trust my house moms that they knew where her heart was and that she was ready to leave.

Monday I got by long enough to talk to her for about an hour, but honestly, I wasn't fully convinced she was ready to leave... again hard because I haven't really gotten the chance to know her.  Monday afternoon I had to be at home in the bed when it all went down, and it wasn't pretty.  It wasn't handled well on many fronts and by the end everyone was frustrated and angry and she was home with her mom.  I am not at all blaming my house moms, I think that they were more gracious than I would have been in their place.  I didn't get to say goodbye and although I have spoken with her on the phone, I know she is angry.  It is ugly and sad and just discouraging when something that is supposed to be helpful ends up so frustrating.

I trust that God had a plan for bringing her to PDE for two weeks.  For two weeks she saw a different way to live, she was treated with respect and love instead of anger and frustration.  She saw people trying to love and serve one another.  And I just pray that it will stay with her, the good things.  That she won't just remember Monday afternoon, but that she will remember that heard the Good News of the Gospel and that it is good news indeed!

Please pray for K as she transitions back to being with her mom.  Pray for her heart to be softened to the Gospel.  Pray that she would not have such bitterness and anger towards those of us at PDE and the other missionaries who work in her community.  Pray for real transformation in her life and that God would save her... and not just her, but her baby girl as well.  She is out of our reach, but she is never out of God's hands.  For that, I am thankful.

Of Course

It is humbling how much I learn from my kids...

Over the past two weeks Nicolle has started a new, and quite lovely, habit.  Every time I ask her to do something she responds with "Of Course!".  Usually I have requested a "Yes mom", but "Of Course" sounds so much better!  I asked her where that came from and why she started saying it and I loved her response.  She told me that when my dad was here in June she remembers that whenever she asked him to do something he would say "sure" and she liked that because it sounded like he really wanted to do it for her.  She wanted to sound the same way, but just decided that she liked "of course" better.  What a dear sentiment.  She wants me to know that not only will she do what I asked, but she really wants to help  me.

So, on the hard lesson.  This week I got stuck in the shower with no towel (that may only happen in our house!) and has to ask her to bring me one.  She responded "of course" and brought me a towel right away with a smile on her face.  Two days later I was so frustrated and on the phone with the airline.  I've called them twice a day all week trying to get our tickets cancelled for next week due to medical reasons and no one seems to be able to help me.  I was so engrossed in the conversation and my own frustration that I barely heard Nicolle yell from the bathroom that she was now stuck in the shower with no towel.  I wish I could say that I excused myself from my conversation long enough to kindly take my daughter a towel, but I didn't, and I was less than gracious to her.  Ugh.  So humbling.

"Of course".  The most convicting words I've heard all week.  I'm thankful that God is giving her such a willing spirit to love and serve others.  I just pray that I can learn to love and serve my children in the same way.

Best friends in the world!

As you all know by now, we have babies on the way :)  There are days that I feel like the time will never pass fast enough because I just want to meet them...  This week was disappointing because I was not cleared to travel to our big MTW retreat where I would have gotten to reconnect with old friends and even my mom who is going to be there doing childcare!  Alas.  These little ones are worth it!  And God knows exactly what He is doing in His timing, so I trust Him!  We just continue to pray for health and a full-term delivery for our two babies!

Back to best friends in the world... since moving overseas, God has blessed me more than I could have imagined by dear friends and family back home.  My friend Amy is wonderful and since I will not be able to travel to be in the states for a baby shower before the twins are born, she offered to throw me a virtual baby shower!  If you would like to take part, you can join the baby shower by clicking on this link...  :)

God has quite a sense of humor.  I work with babies all the time and when I found out I was pregnant I was determined to be low-key about the whole baby thing.  Not buy much stuff, we don't really have room in our house for a nursery, baby can sleep in a pack and play, no need for a stroller, just strap the baby on and go... etc.  And then the humbling news of twins and the reminder that I only have two hands.  Goodness... all the sudden we needed two carseats, a stroller, a swing so that one could be happy while I tend to the other.  God is forever humbling me and making me eat my words...

Guess what mom said she would never put her 3 year old in preschool?  Guess where Andres is from 7-10:30 every morning?  You got it!  Preschool :)

All that to say.  I am a work in progress and learning so much about being a mom and even a good friend and I am so thankful for those who are examples for me and who love me so well!