I believe that we see glimpses of reconciliation in our world and they are just incredible. Spouses who just couldn't see any option other than divorce that by the grace of God have a healthier marriage than ever, friends who experience healing through forgiveness and grace, estranged families being brought back together, and the list goes on.
For us making the decision for Y to move out of Puerta de Esperanza was heart-wrenching. She was our first girls who made the difference in PDE being a vision to a reality. She has a really tender place in my heart and I have watched her grow and change and mature and yet still have such deep scars. I want so badly to be able to "fix" things for her and make it all better. But the Lord has given me a thousand or so reminders that it is not my job. Its a good thing to want, but it has to happen in His time and in His way, and I am to be faithful to play my part in it and then just keep praying.
About three weeks ago Y made the decision to leave the home after a long string of poor behavior choices. She had threatened for a long time that she was going to run away or leave but was always able to be pursuaded to stay. This time her stubborness won out and she made enough bad choices that we didn't have a choice but to tell her that although we love her and she will always be part of our family she couldn't live in the home anymore. Wow. So hard. And then by the grace of God I got really sick.
I say by the grace of God because I couldn't do anything about her leaving until I felt better which gave her the chance to continue to live there, to feel the love of this family around her, to see their tears and know that she would be missed. It gave her time to council the other young girl to work hard to be able to stay, to take advantage of the opportunity. It gave her time to appreciate all the God has taught her and be thankful. It gave her time to say some goodbyes.
And the Lord provided Y's birth mom who has not lived with since she was 1 but who now is stable and kind and loves the Lord and has a stable family environment to offer. Could this be a picture of reconcilation? So many of Y's heart struggles have to do with her mom and feeling unloved and unwanted. And this same woman who she resents got on boat the very next day with a broken foot and came and hugged her and said she loved her and she wanted to take her home. She turned to me at one point nearly in tears and said... "I left her once, I am not going to do that again!" She could not have told me any more reassuring words than those.
It was still hard... she is a boat ride away with a family she doesn't really know yet and having a lot of time to think through things. Please pray. I am praying that this will be what the Lord uses to really get her attention. She has so much head knowledge of the Lord, but I just want her to know and understand forgiveness and grace and all that the Lord has for her. I spoke with her mom a lot about the Gospel and how much I long for Yajaira to really walk with the Lord and she promised to keep teaching her. So pray that not long from now I get a phone call that she finally gets it, finally understands what we have been teaching all this time.
And speaking of... little J has called me every day beacuse she misses us and doesn't understand this new direction of her little life. Please pray for her sweet heart to figure things out and settle in to her new home.Its been emotional for all of us. But by the time I put her on the bus she hugged me in tears and said "Susana, I love you. Thank you for everything." I was just so thankful she didn't leave angry, but she knows she is very loved.
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