Church

I sat in front of her holding her hand in mine.  The church is a place for people who are broken.  We have all been where you are, dead in sin and desperate for freedom.  You are only going to find that freedom in Jesus.  Alcohol is not the problem, sin and being far from God is the problem, but alcohol will never fix it.  Come to church with us.  People there won't judge you, you don't have to be afraid.  Here there is nothing for you but lonliness and more to drink.  Come and hear the Word of God!

I had only just met her moments before, but I was begging her to come with us.  And she was crying... a lot.  She introduced herself and then said to me, I'm an alcoholic, but I want to change.  And she had been drinking.  A lot.

There are days that my husband is my hero and yesterday was one of them.  He loves people well and has a heart for them to know Jesus and the freedom that comes with walking with Christ.  He has a young guy who is doing an apprenticeship under him and we have been praying for him and taking him to church us occasionally.  And praying for his alcoholic mom.  

Yesterday when we went to pick him up, he wasn't there, but Lesther just stayed inside talking to his mom and eventually came out to get me to join him.  It took some time but her son came home and they both got in the car with us to get to church in time for the last half of the service.  Angel looked at me when we singing and said, "mom, did you see her?  she cried all the way here but now she is clapping and singing!"  Yesterday this woman had a taste of freedom.  She smiled and chatted and told us pieces of her life story.  She is desperate for someone to listen to her and cried as she prayed and asked the Lord for freedom.

Please pray for Sonia... pray for us to know how to help her.  Pray for her to know Jesus and for Him to give her freedom from alcohol.  Pray for her heart to be filled with joy and hope!  

Tight Belts

We're sqeezing everything a little tighter around here... trying to moderate our spending and wait on things that aren't necessary right this minute.

For the first time I can say we don't have the money we need to make it to the end of the month with PDE.  I am making a money request for money that once we take it out will not leave enough support for my family when it comes the end of the month.  This is hard.

The truth is, I like to live life with a buffer.  I'm a big fan of insurance, savings accounts, stable jobs, and lay-overs that don't have me sprinting through the airport.  I am a control freak, and seeing that more and more as I enter married life.  I want to know what is going to happen and when.  And I hate when that starts slipping through my fingers.  And it has slipped!

I raised support fast before I came to the mission field.  I came from an amazing church community that held desserts and small group meetings and listened and looked at pictures and prayed over me.  And many of them committed to support me monthly and continue to do so even now.  I am so blessed!  They welcome me with open arms when I go home and I know are anxious to meet my new family.

The thing is, things have changed.  I need more support because I have a family and a ministry.  Where once $4,100/month seemed like a lot, that was for one person.  Now $8000/month needs to support 13 people between my family and PDE girls!  And I don't have that extra $4000/month.  And I'm not there for dessert meetings and small groups and in person gatherings.  And I must admit its hard to not be there.  I have emailed and called over a dozen churches and no one is able to partner with us at this time.  I have gotten in touch with some individuals and families, but that is hard from afar... its ever so awkward to call people you don't know, or even know where to start!  I have been in touch with old short term teams to Honduras, written blogposts, newsletters, etc.  And I have prayed.  Prayed that God would provide, prayed that God would put this ministry on people's hearts, and prayed that God would teach me to trust.

And He is answering.  We have no more money.  Like I said, for the first time we don't have what we need for a month.  and yet, I'm not afraid, maybe for the first time in 3 years.  I still want to beg you to consider supporting us monthly and spreading the word about our ministry.  But I am trusting.  I am taking this money out for the girls daily needs trusting that at the end of the month my paycheck will come.  So praise the Lord for working in this control freak heart of mine to at least learn to lean in and trust that He is in control.

If you want to support us... you can email me at ssinnes@gmail.com.  Or visit mtw.org for donation info.  Our account number is 92413.

Sick Days

I'm laying in my bed where I have been ALL DAY long and yet I'm not tired because I'm finally feeling better after a long day of going between nausea, headache and fever.

Sometimes I need a sick day.  I don't really like being sick, hate it in fact.  Lyssa laughed at me when I was relieved to have a fever because it showed I was really sick, not just making it up.  I always just think... tough it out, you don't feel that bad, get over it.  Until I start feeling like I can actually get out of bed and take more than three steps... oh yeah, this is what it feels like to not be sick.  I really did feel bad.

Things have been busy lately, they always are.  We have a full house at PDE, school to teach, Bible studies to do, babies to get to the doctor, forms to sign, lawyers to talk to, money to raise... and the list goes on.  I am still a relatively new mom and wife and trying to figure out how to do those things well while wishing that I could just be home all day with my kiddos and teaching them English at the same time.  We have a sick nephew and I really feel like part of the family for the first time because I can offer childcare and advice and phone calls to check in, I feel needed.  And then there are summer teams and my Honduras team and wanting to support them well and be a part of things there.

And sometimes... something has to give.  Bring on the sick day.  I don't like being sick, but sometimes I need it... and I think God knows that.

Today I did nothing.  I didn't have the energy to open my computer until after 1 in the afternoon and even then I didn't have the brain capacity to do anything worthwhile.

I prayed some, watched TV, spent time being thankful for all the days I'm not sick, and spent time being thankful for my sweet husband who tied up loose ends so I could stay in bed.  And I rested.

I am sorry that sometimes the Lord has to use such drastic measures to make me rest.  I'm sorry that in my personal life with Him sometimes I forget how much I need Him until things are really hard.  And I'm sorry that sometimes I start to think that I am too important and necessary to be able to take a break.  But... what a reminder.  I cannot do all the things on my plate.  But God knew that and still gave them to me.  They are His.  PDE and my children, language learning, summer teams and sickness... He has got it all under control.

Praise the Lord for sick days.

Hard news

I haven't been posting much recently, but that doesn't mean that life has been quiet.

I am asking for prayers for our nephew.  This is Rey, he is 18 and was one of Lesther's groomsmen in our wedding.  He works at the same AC shop with Lesther and his brother, is a hard-working, quiet kid, and has always been strong and healthy.  This week he was diagnosed with  Leukemia.  I am thankful for our team and that Doctor Roger was working at the clinic so that I could take Rey and his mom there.  I'm so thankful for Erin who worked oncology in the states and has been answering my constant phone calls of questions.  I'm reading articles and calling nurse friend Amy and trying to figure out as much as I can about whats going on so I can relay info to the family.

There are no oncologists or hematologists in la Ceiba, so Wednesday they took him to San Pedro Sula where he was put in the hospital.  Its hard to be so far away and not know exactly what is going on.  But we trust that the Lord knows exactly what is going on, is giving wisdom to the Doctors, and is not surprised by any of this.  Praise the Lord that almost all of Lesther's family are believers and are clinging to the Lord in this time.

Please pray for good medical care, for quick healing, for the provision of the money he needs for treatment, for him to be able to sleep, for quick test results to come back from Guatemala, and for us to just be able to love and encourage each other well as a family during this time.