Its not homesickness per say, its more of a dull ache that hits me at the most inopportune times. I would rather be sleeping at 4am than thinking about the fact that I live far away from so many people that I love and a place that is comfortable for me.
It’s provoked by the most random of things… yesterday I was studying English with Carolina and there were lots of “can you…” questions. I kept answering yes and when we got to “Can you ski?” she said, “Susana… you can do everything!” And I just realized I have had so many opportunities to do so many things. And there are things that won’t happen here… skiing, sailing, other things I love. But also sitting with friends at chickfila, being in a small group study of Tim Keller in English, having breakfast with my grandma at IHOP, watching my cousin play basketball, etc. Sometimes its just hard to live far away.
And I love my life here. I guess that is possible… that I love life in two such very different places. But some days it is just hard. And some days I feel the loss in a greater way.
So today I’m just a little bit on the sad side of things. But ultimately I see the blessing in that I have a place to miss. And the blessing of really enjoying the place where I live. Oh… I’m so complicated. :)
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