Battle

Spiritual Warfare.  Its something I have taught Bible studies on and would have told you I understood and believe exists.  Satan is fighting a very real war against the power of the blood of Jesus, one that he is most certain to lose.  And yet, it seemed to me like Spiritual warfare existed only on the plain of fighting that little voice of temptation inside of you that is telling you to sin.  Its so much bigger than that.  I am a presbyterian, math major, and I think in the concrete, factual world, but I have been ignorant to underestimate the gravity of this battle.  I am slow to believe that satan actually has demons, that he may actually send them into real people, and that I actually might see that playing out in front of my eyes. 

Sunday afternoon I unmistakable interacted with a demon who is tormenting someone that I love dearly.  It terrified me and I have been so broken and shed many many tears.  I have learned how to pray with the power of Jesus and confidently believe the things that I read in Scripture over the years.  “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world, on the contrary they have divine power to demolish strongholds!”  2 Corinthians 10:4 

I have been so thankful for my team here and for my church.  We stood outside of the church with the pastors and other warriors in the faith just praying the name of Jesus over this dear girl.  We prayed over her as it took 7 grown men to hold her down and give her a shot.  We prayed over her as she lay strapped down in a hospital bed.  We are praying the power of Jesus to give her freedom and relief.  In the powerful name of Jesus we are praying that satan will leave her alone.  We are weary.  She is so tired of fighting. 

I hold on to truth today.  Truth that God has already won the war.  Truth that the plans of God are best.  Truth that all the power of the Gospel lives inside of me and satan has no power to touch me.  Truth that I am not fighting on my own.  But I am not sleeping much, I am worried and full of fear.  I am fighting to believe and trust, but it turns out to be a lot harder when the enemy looks you in the eyes.

I am begging for your prayers.  Please lift us up.  Myself, the girls at PDE, my team, Gran Comision church here in La Ceiba.  Praise the Lord for his provision of Godly community and solid Christian leaders.  And pray for the devil and his demons to be defeated.

This song is the cry of my heart… Lord, help my unbelief…

Help My Unbelief – Red Mountain Church
I know the Lord is nigh,
And would but cannot pray,
For Satan meets me when I try,
And frights my soul away.
And frights my soul away.

I would but can’t repent,
Though I endeavor oft;
This stony heart can ne’er relent
Till Jesus makes it soft.
Till Jesus make it soft.

Help my unbelief. Help my unbelief.
Help my unbelief.
My help must come from Thee.

I would but cannot love,
Though wooed by love divine;
No arguments have power to move
A soul as base as mine.
A soul so base as mine.

I would but cannot rest,
In God’s most holy will;
I know what He appoints is best,
And murmur at it still.
I murmur at it still.

A friend reminded me of this song this morning and I find it so fitting as I am so weary…

The Warrior Is a Child – Twila Paris

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet