Take a Deep Breath

Last week was wonderful!  But I was crazy busy doing all the fun goodness that came with having my home church here and having them work in PDE with me.  So this morning I woke up early and just took a deep breath that the summer is over and life is going to get back into a little bit more of a routine for everyone.  My parents are here :)  So I get one more week of hanging out with my them and a little bit of time at the beach, which I’m so looking forward to…

But this morning, I just wanted to take a minute and ask for some prayers.  I’m a little bit on the overwhelmed side because there is SO much going on here right now.  With all of my heart I trust that the Lord is good, His plan and timing are perfect, and that He already has all the details worked out for all the things that are sitting in front of me.  I am so thankful for that!  Now I just want to be prayerful and obedient walking through each day to be wise and faithful through each decision and conversation and act.

What’s going on with us?
1. C starts university tomorrow!
2. This week we move everything into the store, get our final legal permissions, get a sign made, make flyers, hire one more person to help us??, and pick an opening date!
3. I’m taking a sweet 16 year old girl and her 2 month old baby to visit PDE on Tuesday (he has a club foot).  She lives far from family and needs lots of help.  I also met her through Ashley b/c she lives in La Fe, so that’s a fun ministry overlap connection.
4. G comes back from the mental health hospital today and we will be working together to see what it looks like to love and support her even though she can’t live at PDE anymore
5. Our spunky baby E is still with us at PDE, but that’s not a permanent solution, so trying to figure out what to do with him so that he can be well loved and cared for and still have a relationship with his mom
6. This month some things came to light that have to be changed at PDE for us to keep our position with social services, so we will have to be working on those following a house inspection
7. We have to hire a professional psychologist, which also means finding one, which I have no idea how to do that, and having the money to pay one.
8.  Y has an beauty internship possibility that we have to follow up with in the next few weeks
9. Babies need shots
10.  I’m starting personal discipleship with each of the girls in September, so I’m preparing for that right now
11.  I need to be support raising… if you know of anyone who may have a heart to support this ministry monthly or one-time, PLEASE let me know!
12. We all still need to eat and sleep and clean and rest in the midst of it all :)

I did say back to normal, not back to easy, right?!? :)

Overwhelmed by Goodness

This week my home church is here and I am loving every second of it.  We have a really full week b/c they are working in a small community doing medical clinic, kids Bible club, ESL classes, construction… AND they are hanging out at Puerta de Esperanza with me getting to know the girls and babies, teaching English, making cookies, and just loving on them.

This was Monday at medical clinic.  Teri was the ultimate baby holder for the morning :)  She was hanging out with the people waiting in line and giving mommas a break.

C lives at PDE and just recently got a nursing assistant type of certification.  She has been helping out a lot at clinic and its just really fun to see her serving and loving on people there!

Patti did chair massages all morning and was in VERY high demand.  She’ll be going to clinic again in Armenia Bonito on Thursday to do massage.  And she’s teaching our team kid Rebekah how to do massages so we will benefit long after she goes home, yay!

Yesterday was kids club with two really fun crafts, the story of Jesus feeding the five thousand, and lots of fun play time with balloons!  The kids loved it, and I think the adults actually did too!  There was glitter and paper everywhere, but that’s the huge upside to having kids club outside!  Way less clean-up and lots of kids went home happy after hearing about how much Jesus loves them.  What could be better?

P.S. There are men doing construction throughout this week, I just haven’t gotten pictures of them yet!  But they are building concrete electrical poles and also stands for the new second hand clothing store that we are about to open.  So, they are busy busy!

Speaking of the store, and of being busy, the Lord is just so funny in His timing.  I’ve been looking for a location for the store for weeks, a place to rent.  It has been a fruitless search with everything being so expensive or not safe or not available or not in a good location.  Well, yesterday in the midst of my busiest week of the summer, I went to meet a guy who owns a great local exactly where we want to be.  And guess what?  He loves our vision and wants to help us and is going to rent me the space for an excellent price!  So, we’re moving stuff in on Friday :)

The Lord provides.  In His time and in His way!

I love his picture of guitar lesson.  Who is really learning how to play?  C or the babies? :)

We are busy busy.  C starts university next week.  Y is busy practicing what she has learned at beauty       

school.  This week the ladies are paying her to give them manicures so she can practice and put a little bit away in her bank.  She is so excited, doesn’t spend a penny, and is saving up diligently for the future!

Thanks for reading this and keeping up with us :)

On living far from home

Its not homesickness per say, its more of a dull ache that hits me at the most inopportune times.  I would rather be sleeping at 4am than thinking about the fact that I live far away from so many people that I love and a place that is comfortable for me.

It’s provoked by the most random of things… yesterday I was studying English with Carolina and there were lots of “can  you…” questions.  I kept answering yes and when we got to “Can you ski?” she said, “Susana… you can do everything!”  And I just realized I have had so many opportunities to do so many things.  And there are things that won’t happen here… skiing, sailing, other things I love.  But also sitting with friends at chickfila, being in a small group study of Tim Keller in English, having breakfast with my grandma at IHOP, watching my cousin play basketball, etc.  Sometimes its just hard to live far away.

And I love my life here.  I guess that is possible… that I love life in two such very different places.  But some days it is just hard.  And some days I feel the loss in a greater way.

So today I’m just a little bit on the sad side of things.  But ultimately I see the blessing in that I have a place to miss.  And the blessing of really enjoying the place where I live.  Oh… I’m so complicated. :)

There is POWER in the name of JESUS

I have never had to cling to this truth as much as I have this past week.  It has been a week like I never experienced before… full of spiritual warfare, failure, loss, encouragement, support, church family, depression, anxiety, poor choices, provision, and so much more.  But ultimately, the Lord knows exactly what He is doing.  He wrote this week out ahead of time and knew what every day would bring.  Although it surprised and overwhelmed me, it did not surprise Him.

This week our sweet G had to go back to the hospital in Tegucigalpa and will not be able to return to Puerta de Esperanza.  I am so heavy-hearted about this.  And yet, I know that the Lord loves her and knows her and has good in mind for her.  So I am trusting that as I pray the powerful name of Jesus over her life that the Lord is moving and working and drawing her to Himself.  Please pray for all of us as we feel like we have lost a member of our family.  We are praying through how to love and support her when she comes back, even though she can’t live with us anymore.  And more than anything we are praying that the Holy Spirit fills her up and that she knows Jesus in a new and different way than every before.

Losing G from the house also means losing E, although she is unable to care for him.  This means we had to get involved with social services and it is breaking my heart.  I have no answers at the moment.  We don’t know where this sweet little boy will end up.  But again, the Lord knows what he needs and what is best for him.  So we are praying.

Everything about this week has been challenging and I am weary.

And yet, at the same time, the Lord provided three wonderful ladies from a church in SC to bring fabric and sewing machines to spend the week working with Y and C.  It was a much needed spot of joy in every day, and a little bit of a distraction.  They have been flexible, prayed with us, cried with us, and just been an amazing support for all of us in the midst of a really hard week.  I couldn’t be more thankful.

God is good.  The name of Jesus is powerful and great.  We need Him more than we know.

Battle

Spiritual Warfare.  Its something I have taught Bible studies on and would have told you I understood and believe exists.  Satan is fighting a very real war against the power of the blood of Jesus, one that he is most certain to lose.  And yet, it seemed to me like Spiritual warfare existed only on the plain of fighting that little voice of temptation inside of you that is telling you to sin.  Its so much bigger than that.  I am a presbyterian, math major, and I think in the concrete, factual world, but I have been ignorant to underestimate the gravity of this battle.  I am slow to believe that satan actually has demons, that he may actually send them into real people, and that I actually might see that playing out in front of my eyes. 

Sunday afternoon I unmistakable interacted with a demon who is tormenting someone that I love dearly.  It terrified me and I have been so broken and shed many many tears.  I have learned how to pray with the power of Jesus and confidently believe the things that I read in Scripture over the years.  “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world, on the contrary they have divine power to demolish strongholds!”  2 Corinthians 10:4 

I have been so thankful for my team here and for my church.  We stood outside of the church with the pastors and other warriors in the faith just praying the name of Jesus over this dear girl.  We prayed over her as it took 7 grown men to hold her down and give her a shot.  We prayed over her as she lay strapped down in a hospital bed.  We are praying the power of Jesus to give her freedom and relief.  In the powerful name of Jesus we are praying that satan will leave her alone.  We are weary.  She is so tired of fighting. 

I hold on to truth today.  Truth that God has already won the war.  Truth that the plans of God are best.  Truth that all the power of the Gospel lives inside of me and satan has no power to touch me.  Truth that I am not fighting on my own.  But I am not sleeping much, I am worried and full of fear.  I am fighting to believe and trust, but it turns out to be a lot harder when the enemy looks you in the eyes.

I am begging for your prayers.  Please lift us up.  Myself, the girls at PDE, my team, Gran Comision church here in La Ceiba.  Praise the Lord for his provision of Godly community and solid Christian leaders.  And pray for the devil and his demons to be defeated.

This song is the cry of my heart… Lord, help my unbelief…

Help My Unbelief – Red Mountain Church
I know the Lord is nigh,
And would but cannot pray,
For Satan meets me when I try,
And frights my soul away.
And frights my soul away.

I would but can’t repent,
Though I endeavor oft;
This stony heart can ne’er relent
Till Jesus makes it soft.
Till Jesus make it soft.

Help my unbelief. Help my unbelief.
Help my unbelief.
My help must come from Thee.

I would but cannot love,
Though wooed by love divine;
No arguments have power to move
A soul as base as mine.
A soul so base as mine.

I would but cannot rest,
In God’s most holy will;
I know what He appoints is best,
And murmur at it still.
I murmur at it still.

A friend reminded me of this song this morning and I find it so fitting as I am so weary…

The Warrior Is a Child – Twila Paris

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

They don't know that I go running home when I fall down
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

Famous? :)

My face is in my hometown newspaper today!  A friend from church writes for their faith column and wrote a really sweet article on what's going on here in Honduras and how my home church is involved!

http://www.carynews.com/2012/07/31/62152/multi-generational-team-heads.html