Timing, Provision, and Goodness

Quite frankly, I'm amazed... amazed at the Lord's timing, His provision, and His goodness.

The last five weeks have been really hard on a personal level.  Bed rest was very hard for me and led to some days of real depression, thus making it a hard time for my whole family as well.  Tuesday we were thrilled to get the news that although the hematoma is still there, it is getting better and I can get up for short amounts of time.  I am still being really careful and only leaving the house for a few hours a day when I feel good.  But it has made a huge difference.  I am interacting with people, feeling a little more useful, and I have a new found thankfulness for any little thing that I am able to do.  The babies continue to grow well and this week we got to find out that we are having a girl and boy :)  The whole family was beyond excited!!!

As for the Lord's provision, let me just say that PDE has never run so smoothly in the nearly three years that it has been open.  I attribute that 100% to the Lord's goodness to us and the amount that He has allowed us to learn since we opened.  We changed a lot of our rules and guidelines and how we do things and the new girls have responded amazingly well.  For the first time on Wednesday I was able to go sit over there for a few hours and talk to the girls and get to know them and see them in the home.  I was so encouraged!!!  Here's a little update...

C and A - C is learning how to sew as our older C-girl hasn't been working this month and has been at home to teach her.  She is a good cook and has been really helpful around the house.  She is good mom and learning to be more consistent with her son.  She misses her mom and looks forward to finishing out her first month at PDE so that they can have a visit.  A is mal-nurished, so he was at clinic this week to figure out how we can change his diet to get him more of the vitamins and nutrients that he needs.  I am thankful for Dr. Roger and that he keeps me up to date even though I can't do to the clinic with the girls at the moment.  A is happy and loves playing, eats well, and was thrilled when we pulled down some sandals in his size out of the closet!

K - Honestly this is the more shocking to me.  We knew coming in that K was going to be more on the challenging side.  She comes from a harder background, is very honest, and not afraid of upsetting people or making you feel bad.  But she has done great!  She saw her mom once, a really difficult lady, and after the visit she said, "Well, I was missing her, but not anymore!"  She also told Ashley that she sometimes takes a shower, just because she has one.  She does not come from a home with running water!  She hasn't had any behavior problems and little by little we see her attitude changing to be less negative.

Please pray for both of these girls to know Jesus!

Lastly, I interviewed a new girl this week... 14 and pregnant, due with a little girl in November!  We met a few times to talk and its nearly certain that she will move in the first week of November and then the baby will be born at the end of the month.  We will soon be back to having a full house!

The pressure

I feel pressure to write a new blogpost.  Really, I feel like I should be doing just about anything useful at this point in time!  I was not made for bed rest.  Seriously... doing nothing should not be so exhausting.  But things are getting better, the little ones are growing, and every day is a good reminder to ask the Lord for their good health and safety and praise Him for the opportunity to parent two new little lives.

I have really had to step back from PDE during this time.  Its been hard to be honest.  In the last 2 1/2 years I have never been so uninvolved with what is going on or so out of touch with the lives of the girls who are living there.  And in the beginning I thought this was going to be a short-term thing, so I tried to still run things and manage from the safety of my bed.  But you know what?  That's stressful... to know every little thing that isn't running quite right and yet not be able to do anything about it.  So I gave up on micro-managing.  And I'm a control freak, so that was hard for me.  But guess what?  They are doing fine, great actually!

This week the girls started Bible study with Amy on a general overview of the truth of the Gospel and how it affects our lives.  They got a small gift of birthday money since the new girls have birthdays within 2 weeks of one another, and they were able to go get a new outfit.  Friday they will celebrate birthdays with chinese food and cake.  They aren't fighting or being rude and seem to be adjusting well.  C, our PDE veteran, is off work for the month following her surgery and is passing along her skills of sewing and jewelry-making to give them something to keep them busy.  They are getting involved in church and seeming to get along well with the house moms.  Honestly, I couldn't be happier!

Another reminder.  God doesn't need me.  And yet He lets me have a front seat view as He works and moves.  What a privledge.

Success!

There were some hiccups, there always are :)  Schedules didn't work out exactly as planned, but in the end our two new girls are settling in well at PDE today!  One prayer item is for K's mom.  She didn't come over to the house yesterday and when the lawyer went to meet her, she denied any knowledge of what her daughter was doing.  She is a pretty complicated and grudge-holding lady.  So although I have met her her no less than four times, and Lyssa has been over there constantly talking to them about PDE, she probably got mad at someone or was having a bad day, and therefore decides to make life complicated for everyone.  Since I can't be there, the lawyer is taking care of making sure everything gets worked out and the mom gets a good visit to the home and all the correct papers get signed.  But until that happens, things are still a little up in the air for K.  So please pray that everything gets worked out quickly!  And thank the Lord with me that He is providing all these loving souls to stand in for me while I can't be there to do my job.

C is settling in well with her son and seems excited about the opportunity.  I know that saying goodbye to her mom was probably sad for her as they have been living together for awhile now.  So pray for all of that adjustment.

Also, Lyssa is leaving tomorrow for the states and I know she wishes she was going to be here longer to get to follow through more with these girls.  So pray for her heart as she leaves and sweet goodbyes, not just with these girls, but with all the many relationships she has made over her time here.

K and Lyssa... K's baby is due in December

Little A playing with toys and adjusting to his new home

William SOOO excited to have a friend again!

C enjoying the breeze in the back and getting a taste of life at PDE

Doña Oneyda going through all the rules and expectations one more time

Thanks to Ashley for taking pictures for me :)

Almost time for move in day...

Tomorrow is a big day at PDE!

Lyssa and Ashley are picking up our new girls early afternoon and they will get signed in before dinner :)  I hope to get send my camera and get some great pictures to share with you.  I know the girls are excited, but there are always nerves that go along with it.  Tomorrow they will say goodbye to their old life and with it their families.  We have a mandatory month period where they can't talk to their families to give them time to adjust, so its always emotional.  Please be praying tomorrow for C and her son A and for K and her unborn daughter.  Pray for a smooth transition, wisdom for the house moms, lots of patience all around, and more than anything that these girls would know Jesus!

I am still on bedrest and won't be able to be there, which is very sad to me.  Its hard to know that it will be awhile before I can spend time with these girls and really get to know them, but it is a good exercise in faith and trusting that they are in God's hands!  Our team's awesome intern Amy is lending some of her time to lead weekly Bible studies and do some one-on-one discipleship with the girls and I am so thankful for her!  Ashley and Lyssa have been awesome in getting paperwork together and preparing the girls.  Lyssa has been to lots of doctors appointments and gotten to really dig in deeper in her friendship with K during this time.  So God is providing in many ways even when I cannot be physically present.

For those of you praying for my health, thank you!  Three weeks ago the ultrasound found a rather large hematoma and I am on day 20 of bed rest (but who's counting?) :)  Yesterday we got good news that the hematoma is HALF the size that it was before and we are moving in the right direction.  I will continue on strict bed rest until it completely goes away, so we're not sure how much longer that will be.  But please keep praying!  The twins are growing well and its been fun to have ultrasounds often so that we get to see them every step of the way!  I will be considered a high risk pregnancy until they are born and probably not get back to my normal schedule for awhile, but I look forward to the day that I can go and sit over at PDE and spend time with the newest members of our family.

Thank you for all of your prayers!

You Hold Everything Together

The past week or so I have been waking up really early, hours before my family is awake.  It is so quite in the house and I feel that I am so easily gripped by fear when there are no distractions.  I fear all the things that are out of my control, which at this point are many.  So I have taken to praying often at hours of the morning when no one should have to be awake :)  As I have been praying, this song keeps running through my mind...

Worthy of Affection - Shane and Shane

Deliverer you brought us out of the miry clay
You set our feet upon a rock and you made us say
Holy is the Lord
We would declare your thoughts about us one by one
It'd be too many to count so we simply come
And sing of your great love

So we sing..We lift our hands and sing!

You are worthy of affection
Your the radiance of all of His glory
Let adoration fill this place
You hold everything together
By the word of your immovable power
We sing a song of praise!

We are the broken down and we are the beaten up
But what could stop us from a song of unending love?
Holy is the lord
You are a treasure, the hope, the bright and morning star
You are the lover of our soul and you've won our hearts
We sing of your great love
So we sing
We lift our hands and sing!

Worthy are you Lord
Worthy are you Lord
O worthy are you Lord
Of all Praise
All Glory to you Lord
All Glory to you Lord
All Glory to you Lord
Forever More
Forever More

What great hope... "You hold everything together by the word of your immovable power"!  And He does and I can trust that... and sometimes I even go back to sleep :)

Introducing C and A

C just had her 18th birthday over the weekend!  She has a little boy who is 2 1/2 and she is eager to go to school and start working.  We have already been able to meet several times and talk extensively about PDE.  She is beyond excited for this opportunity!  This afternoon Lyssa is taking her to see the house and meet our house moms.

C and her son A come from the neighborhood where the Troxells and Lyssa work and I love to see our ministries overlapping so much.  Ashley has been able to get to know her, especially because of some serious health needs that her son has had.  Since he was born she has basically been on her own trying desperately to make ends meet.  From the age of 15 she left home and just recently moved back in with her mom.  She definitely comes from a hard past, as do all of the girls, but she seems to have a maturity that comes from having had to try to make it on her own.  She knows that life is hard and you have to fight for your education and your job.  I hope that she will continue to show that kind of drive and that we will be able to help her to provide a different kind of future for her son.

My favorite story so far about C has to do with her telling me her life story.  When she was 15 she left home and started working, but she never mentioned where she worked.  Meanwhile she is telling me that she lived in one city, no another city, and this thing happened here, oh no, when she was living there.  Honestly, she sounded a little crazy... she couldn't seem to keep the details straight and she had me worried.  The following week I went by to talk to her again to try to get the story straight with her mom there.  Turns out the job she had was working for the traveling carnival!  Now that makes WAY more sense!

C goes to church every week, but seems to think that being a Christian has to do with pleasing God with her actions.  Please pray with me that she will come to know the grace of God and that salvation is a gift.  I so badly want to see her live in freedom from having to rely on her actions, but relying on the Lord to make her more like Jesus everyday.