A Day to Write About

Today was a day to write about, but I'm not even sure how to start.

The day started off with our normal meeting with the house moms, playing with kids, praying, reading Scripture.  I have been starting off our weekly meetings with Scriptures specifically teaching about grace and patience and this week was no different.  Ironically we were reading through Matthew 5 which talks about when someone hits you on one cheek, turn your face and let them hit you on the other... having no idea what was going on in the other room.

Suffice it to say that those in the other room have not learned this lesson.  Our two youngest girls were having a literal fist fight when we came running in to the sound of screams.  Hair-pulling, beating heads against the wall, punches, throwing people on the floor... and over a sandwich.  Thankfully in His wisdom God gave me a good strong mom voice and it was enough to send them to their seperate rooms.  But oh the tears, and screams, and shouting, and threats, and blame casting...

I have been writing lately about grace and a lot of it and that's because it is what I have been praying about so much.  It has become increasingly apparent over the last few weeks that our two younger moms do not know Jesus and need Him desperately.  I feel as though I am seeing an increase in Spiritual warfare, it is if Satan is trying everything to fight to hold on to their hearts... could it be we are on the edge of a breakthough?  I beg the Lord that this is the case.  I beg Him to save them.  I beg Him to show them their sin and drive them to their knees... because if not, we are at the end of our rope.

As Mike explained to them today, we are full of grace and love and patience and forgiveness, but the government is not.  And ultimately we are responsible for the girls in the home and the babies.  And oh how it broke my heart to see a little girl crying for her mommy who we could not let her go to see because mommy was too angry.  She snuck out the front door to go stand outside her mommy's window just to be close to her because she knew something was wrong.  Isn't sin so destructive?!?  We are responsible for these physical bodies and for these little hearts.  Could it be that someone has to leave?

I thought today would be the day... one of them tried to leave the house with her baby in tow and take off in a taxi.  Both have said they don't want to be there anymore.  Okay.  Today we gave them the option, real and straight-forward.  If you cannot live under the rules of this house, you can choose to leave.  We will drive you to the courthouse and the judge will decide where you and your baby go, and it probably will not be anywhere together.  We are one of the only homes that accepts moms and babies together.  We don't want that, we want you to be HERE!  We want to love you, we want you to know Jesus, we want you to know that life doesn't have to be a constant heart battle!  We want you to surrender to Jesus, to let Him change you, we want you to know real and abiding peace.  Oh I wish we could force you... but we can't.  So if you choose to go, we will let you.

There was a lawyer and a boss man and lots of tears and talking.  In the end they both stayed, for now.  But I am begging for your prayers.  Pray for strength for the house moms because they are so weary.  Pray for wisdom for me.  But most of all pray for the salvation of these two precious girls who are fighting so hard to run from Jesus, but I know He is after them.  Pray that satan will not win, pray that they will give their hearts to Jesus.

Bless the Lord

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I worship Your holy name

The sun comes up; it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

You're rich in love and You're slow to anger
Your name is great and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness, I will keep on singing
10,000 reasons for my heart to find

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
10,000 years and then forever more

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I love this song.  I love it because it is such a good reminder that the character of the Lord is good.  His name IS great and His heart IS kind.  On the days that I am overwhelmed, when bad things happen, when life doesn't make sense... our refuge is the Lord and HE is good.  

And then I read that He is rich in love and slow to anger and I want that.  I want to be more like Jesus because I am quick to be frustrated, not slow to anger.  And I want to know how to lead these girls in PDE and my own children to know more of Jesus' character, not my frustration.  So I hold on to the truth that the same Jesus who has this character of goodness, patience, forgiveness, mercy, and grace also lives in me.  

Last night our devotion with the kids was on being blessed by God and it said this... "When God promises to bless you, He is saying, 'I'm going to make you into eerything I ever meant for you to be.'  It means God is taking every day and every single thing that happens in it - good or bad - to make you stronger, to mend whatever is broken inside, to change you into the person you were always meant to be." - Sally Lloyd-Jones  

After we finished reading my kids prayed that God would help them to be more like Him, more like Jesus and I find that that is the cry of my own heart as well.  Make me more like Jesus, please Lord.  More days pass that I am a mom and responsible for little hearts, more days pass that I head up a ministry and I am responsible for little hearts and adolescent hearts, and every day I realize that I cannot do this job by myself and I was never meant to.  So I fall back on the character of the Lord that I know is good and true and beg HIM to work, to change hearts, to start with me, and to draw us to Himself.

Prayer Card

So I just sent out our family´s prayer card and a new prayer card in the mail.  If you didn´t get one and you would like a copy, please send me an email with your address.  Or, you can print it out from here!  If you are interested in supporting us one time or monthly, all the information you need is on the back.  We are still in ACTIVE support raising mode, so please let me know if you can support us monthly!

BAM

This is an article that I wrote yesterday for the BAM program at MTW.  They have bene working with us on the PDE store.  For those of you who recently collected clothes for us or donated... THANK YOU!  We are still using them.  Although we have closed the store, we are still selling off the clothes on the weekends and getting to keep 100% of the profit!

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Business and Missions

I am not a business person, never have been.  That’s why when the Lord asked me to start a used clothing store for the girls in my ministry, everything in me wanted to say NO!  From my point of view all I could see in my future was paperwork, legal fees, rent, and more work.  But God had a different plan.  I work with a home for young single moms in La Ceiba, Honduras and these girls were desperately in need of job training.  They needed to learn how to be responsible workers, keep a schedule, receive a paycheck, budget their money, and get some experience.  The Lord dropped all the necessary pieces into place.  People were giving us clothes to sell, without me even asking.  We found a place where the owner dropped the rate way down and we had volunteers build our clothing racks.  I just didn’t feel like I could tell the Lord no when He was making this decision so clear.  In September of 2012 we started working with BAM through MTW and opened the store in October.  Since then our financial success has been little, some months gaining and some losing.  But I cannot be more affirmed that looking through kingdom eyes the Lord has used this store and the BAM program to show people Jesus and expand His ministry of mercy.  We hired a few outside girls to help at the store.  One of them came back to Christ when we took her to a church conference with all the store workers.  Because of that she left a bad relationship and moved into our home.  Another of our workers now has money saved in the bank and is following a monthly budget due to the direction she received while at the store.  Another one of our workers is walking with Jesus and now able to go to university because of her job at the store.  And our girls received exactly what they needed, job training, experience to put on their resume, budgeting strategies, and some lessons in responsibility.  At the time the Lord is calling us to go in another direction and we have had to shut down the store.  I am happy to let the business part go with all the number crunching that comes with it.  But I am sad to let go of this tool that the Lord used so well to meet such a prevalent need.

newsletter

Today I sent out a newsletter... if you didn't get it and you would like to, please email me at ssinnes@gmail.com.

Truth be told I would post it here on the blog, but I can't figure out how... so you'll just have to email me to get it personally :)

Bracelets

The Lord just keeps encouraging my heart.  The Bucks came with the Peace team to Honduras a few weeks ago.  When that got home their 6th grade daughter decided to make bracelets and sell them for $1 each to make money for PDE and our family's support.  Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard?  If you live in the Cary, NC area you can buy one from Alita to support us.  Or join her brainstorming effort in doing something to raise money for missions!  THANKS ALITA!

Bear Chart

Apparently my post yesterday did not do a good job posting my new awesome bear chart :)  I talked to a few of my team members who read the blog post and missed the bears... and lets be honest, they are pretty cute!

So, the bear chart.  Each bear represents someone sponsoring us for $80/month.  We need 100 bears to be sponsored to be fully funded.

Please consider sponsoring a bear, a few bears, or half a bear :)

I will try to keep you updated as our support increases!  At the moment we are little over 54%.

Joy

On Monday I am going to meet yet another girl that I will have to turn away from PDE.  She is 20 years old, has a 2 year old, and is pregnant.  She is strongly considering abortion because she feels as though she has no other options.  I am getting together with her, not because I have a place for her in the home, but because I want her to know Jesus and fight for the life of her unborn child.  Adoption is rare here in Honduras, and some people think of it as rather heartless that you would just give your baby away.  But I think adoption is precious and such a picture of the Gospel and the way that God has placed us in His family!  So pray for me on Monday as I meet and talk with her.

What brought me the greatest joy of all is that she called me yesterday as I was taking K home.  So after hanging up I was telling her about the situation and without hestitation she just said, "She can just share a room with me".  Let me go back and say... Kenia has the smallest and HOTEST room in the whole house.  Its the only room with no outside window and so hot.  But it didn't matter to her.  This girl is her just a short time ago and she wants her to be able to come live with us.  She did go back a few minutes later and say "I mean, if she's nice.  If she's not nice, I don't want to share."  Haha.  But it just did my heart good to hear her heart and her immediate desire to welcome this girl!

In other news, Jennifer took K to the eye doctor yesterday and it turns out she can't see anything almost with her one good eye.  So she's getting glasses this week!  I'm so excited for her because she has never known what she is missing.  But it explains why she has such a hard time with school work, getting the floors really clean, and anything else which requires eyesight. :)  Its going to be a whole new world.

Monthly Donors

Why should you be a monthly donor for PDE?

Well for starters look at these cute faces :)

In all seriousness, I am convinced more and more every day that this ministry is necessarily.  In the last three weeks I have had to turn away two girls from PDE who were interesed.  We don't have any room.  And we don't have any money.  My heart wants to expand, to do more, to be able to minister to more people.  I feel as though the Lord is confirming daily that He is using this ministry.  We see the Lord growing the girls and changing them.  We see the babies growing up in a safe, Christian environment and feeling taken care of and loved. I see the daily fight that the house moms go through to show these girls Jesus and reteach them what the years of their life before left behind.  I want deseperately for us to be able to keep this home open for these four girls and their babies.  And I want to see us move them on and accept more girls and see the Lord change families and futures and eternities.  We are not looking to expand right now, but we are looking to continue strong with the girls we have and right now we don't even have the money to do that.


So I find myself today asking you... why should you be a monthly supporter for PDE?  Because Jesus is using this ministry.  That's all I can tell you.  There are 8 people living in that home who need to know the Lord's grace and mercy as well as a stable family life.  And it is changing their life.  I promise.

We need $8000/month to support my family and Puerta de Esperanza now that it is full.  We have $4340/month that comes in.  That means we are at 54.25% of our monthly need.  Not enough.  In August for the first time we finished the month negative, and if you know anything about numbers, you know that no one is going to let you run a ministry with money you don't have.  So please, prayerfully consider supporting us!

Please let me know if you decide to support us monthly by emailing me at ssinnes@gmail.com.  We will throw a party and then say a thousand thank yous! :)

Here is how you do it!

To donate, use the project number #92413.

You can give online... https://donations.mtw.org/Login.aspx?ReturnUrl=%2fManageGifts%2fdefault.aspx

Or by check... please note the project number in the memo line and make the check out to MTW

Mission to the World donations

PO Box 116284

Atlanta, GA 30368

Or by printing off the form for Electronic transfer... http://www.mtw.org/SiteCollectionDocuments/E-Giving%20Credit%20Card%20Form.pdf

Every bear in the chart represents $80/month.  When 100 bears are sponsored we will be fully sponsored!

  Bear Chart by ssinnes

Good News, but Hard

1 Corinthians 1:18

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

We are living out a theological issue.

That's good news for us.  And bad news.  All at the same time.

The good news is that we can't change things.  And the bad news is that we can't change things.  It takes some of the pressure off of us.  And yet it is so frustrating and such a test of faith in the One who can bring about change.

We have a girl in the home who is living under constant tension.  It is emotional and spiritual.  She believes that her works save her and that her confessions have to equal her wrongdoings.  Her emotions control her.  She is angry and defensive and agressive and so her bad works outweigh the good most days.  That is a lot to worry about when that is your salvation in the  balance.  

And we have some on our national leadership who are just so frustrated with her because for as many times as she has heard the truth about the grace of God, she just doesn't want to accept it.  She says out loud that it is too good to be true, it just can't be that easy.  She would rather stay in her world than accept that salvation could be a gift to an undeserving sinner.  

Wow.

So yesterday things came to a head and the Lord put it on my heart that we are in the middle of teachable moments... on both sides.  I can honestly say that were it not for Jesus, I would not have accepted a free gift of salvation either.  Scripture tells us that we are DEAD in our sin, and a dead man cannot accept any kind of gift at all.  There is nothing that he can do to change his state.  She is dead in sin, she is hearing the truth again and again, but until the Lord makes her heart ready she cannot accept it.  It is foolishness to her ears.

I had E with me yesterday who is one of the smartest 2 1/2 year olds I have ever come across.  I explained to the ladies that he is a really smart kid... but still lacks the ability to multiply two numbers together.  Oh, I could teach him the right answers... he is good at memorizing and could maybe even spout them back out... but he doesn't have the ability yet to really understand multiplication.

That's where we are with this girl.  Our job is to faithfully teach Jesus, show Jesus, live out Jesus and a life full of grace in front of her.  Be patient with her, love her well, show her Scripture, teach her kindly... but Jesus has to work in her heart.  He promises His Word does not come back void.  I believe He is working in her.  But she is not ready yet to hear and accept the real good news of the Gospel.  We cannot change her and she cannot change herself.  She can memorize the right answers, but I'd rather that she didn't.  I'd rather hear the truth as the battle rages in her heart and she fights it out to try to figure out what it would mean to be really and truly unconditionally loved by Jesus.  And in the meantime we pray.  We beg the Lord on her behalf to give her ears to hear and a heart to understand.

Please pray with us!

note: We are still desperate for monthly supporters to be able to keep ministering to girls in this way.  To have them in our home and teach them daily about Jesus.  Please consider joining us in support monthly.  Our account number is #92413 and you can go here to sign up... http://www.mtw.org/Pages/Give_FAQ.aspx