Faith

I have often taught Bible studies that touch on the theme of faith.  Time after time I have used the example of a chair to get the point across.  I can say from across the room that I trust that the chair will hold me or that I have faith in the strength of the chair... but real faith is exercised when I actually walk across the room and sit down in said chair.  That is putting my faith into action... and that is where I find myself this week.

The last two months have been some of the most stretching of my life.  I have struggled with real anxiety and fear and I've been having a hard time just sitting down in the chair and letting what I know about the Lord actually take root in my heart.  I know that He is good.  I know that He is a provider.  I know that He has proven Himself faithful time and time again.  And yet... I still find it hard to trust... why is that?

Did you know that PDE hasn't been fully funded ever in the last nearly 5 years?!?  If you take a look at our monthly budget and monthly giving we should have closed down a long time ago.  And yet... God has always provided.  No one has ever gone hungry and we've always paid the electric bill and our employees.  And God has used that to keep the house open and we have seen many come to know Him as a result.  But from a worldly point of view, it just doesn't make sense.

And PDE support is my missionary support which means that when PDE isn't fully funded, I'm not fully funded.  And that, my friends, is a scary place to sit when we're talking about your own family and your kids and putting food on the table.  To be quite honest, I'm looking forward to in the next stage of life not living off of support!  It has been good for me, and stretching, unpleasant at times, and some days surprisingly joyful but I'm not going to miss it :)

And then there is our paperwork, visas, green cards, waiting on the government... a whole lot of things that are hard to time.  And at the same time I want to be faithful and leave well and leave PDE taken care of when we leave.  So I'm anxious about the timing and anxious that I will work myself out of a job before our paperwork is ready for us to move.  As you may imagine, tinking about moving a family of 7 overseas has a lot of details that comes with it... and oh the culture shock that is sure to unsue!

So this is a stage of a lot of waiting and trusting and asking the Lord for peace of heart.  And I'm not always doing a good job of sitting in the chair and exercising my faith.  Can you pray with and for me that I will trust the Lord's provision?  For the ministry, for my family, for this time of transition...

Colossians 1:17 was my theme verse about the time that I moved to Costa Rica and then Honduras and its one that I will clinging too strongly over the next 6-8 months as well!

And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. - Colosians 1:17