When things are hard

Sometimes things are hard.  No amount of correction or conversation or counseling seems to make them better.  Sometimes poor behavior comes from deep seated wounds from the past that keep getting brought to the forefront time and time again.  Sometimes when you are a young girl trying to have a normal life, you just want to be left alone.

There past few weeks have been really hard with one of our girls.  I can't share too many details out of respect for her privacy, but its been rough.  She has a past that I can't even imagine and a story that is really just hard.  Her circumstances have left her feeling alone.  And its a loneliness where you just feel like somebody should be on your side, somebody should have stood up for you, somebody should have protected you.  And its true.  What kind of mom lets the things happen that happen to her?  Well... maybe a mom who has no choice?  I don't know... everything in me wants to just be angry at her family for letting things get so bad... but I wasn't there and I don't know what else was going on... and yet... sigh.

This girl has suffered and continue to have to deal with things over and over again as her past just hasn't left her in peace.  And now she is trying to be a high school student, and a mom, and a normal kid who likes to do normal kid things... and she cannot seem to find the balance.  And her behavior shows that.  So she is frustrated.  She doesn't want to act so poorly, but it seems to just happen.  And then she loses more privileges or makes people frustrated and it seems to make it worse.

And then there we are, the leadership, trying to know how to help.  Some behaviors can't be overlooked or excused.  Others we can work with.  She is seeing a counselor, but these things take time.  She is starting medication, but these things take time.  And in the meantime, what?!?  Day after frustrating day of trying to push for change...

But Jesus.  That's the answer.  These days have been really hard and seem to not be getting much better.  But Jesus has the answer, He is the answer.  So we pray.  And we trust.  And we give her over to Him.  Because no amount of counseling or medication or conversation or discipline is going to mend the wounds that are deep in her heart.  And we ask for wisdom to be people of grace in her life who know when to show tough love and when to just give hugs and cry for a little while.  And we read her Scripture and we use every ounce of patience God gives us to show her that we are on her side.  And not only that, but God is on her side.  He loves her and gave His son for her so that she can be free to have a different life.  She doesn't have to be stuck in pain and the consequences of sin forever.  There is freedom and joy and life on the other side!

Please continue to pray with us for all of these things.  Pray for healing that only Jesus can bring and an outpouring of Godly love from us to her.  Pray that she would not just know about Jesus, but that she would know Him as her dearest friend and cling to Him alone.

Commitment to Purity

Last Friday night we were able to celebrate with 7 girls as they made commitments to honor the Lord with their purity!  It was such a beautiful picture of grace as we see the Lord redeeming their past!  Each of these 7 women is already a mother... 4 of our current girls, one house mom, one former PDE girl, and one of my nieces.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.  Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

One of the best parts of the night was being surrounded by our PDE family.  Although Aurora and Jennifer no longer work at the home and Beti and Carolina have moved out, they were all there supporting their sisters and friends as they made this big decision!  God has really blessed us with a family... and we are thankful! 

Pray for our girls who weren't ready to make this decision yet.  We are asking the Lord to keep working in big ways in their lives!

Purity

I am so proud of all four of our current PDE girls. Next Friday night they will each stand up in front of their church body and make a purity commitment before the Lord to wait until marriage. We have had some great conversations this week as we´ve been looking up Scripture for each of them to have a verse engraved in their ring. I trust that they all understand this commitment and are ready for it! In the midst of a culture where marriage is the exception, not the norm, this is a really big deal. Their families will think its weird and unnecessary to get married and there are not many men who want to make that lifetime commitment. So pray for each one of them and for their future husbands should the Lord so see fit. I pray for each of them to get married one day to a Godly man who will love them and their children well.

We have gotten each of them a ring to wear engraved with a verse specific to them and the date of their commitment. Each ring cost about $25 and this is an extra expense for us this month. If anyone would like to cover that $100 for this important occasion, please let me know!

March newsletter

http://eepurl.com/bTGISz

Team La Ceiba

This past weekend we had the joy of spending some time with our teammates dedicated to making our team better!  I am just so thankful for these fellow laborers in Christ.  From ministry to personal life, I feel loved and supported.  Many hands held the twins and watched my kids and many shared their joy in seeing girls at PDE come to know Christ and follow Him.  I so feel like we are in this labor together as we serve our families, each other, and those within our ministries.  We are so sure that God has put this team together in this way at this time for His purposes and for our good and I think that I can speak for each of us to say that we feel quite blessed.

One of our purposes of the weekend was to come up with some team-wide goals, it is so good to be on the same page and to feel unified in purpose.  As we talked through things, we were able to identify some of the areas that need special attention this year.  I know that most of you are reading this blog because you love and support Puerta de Esperanza and THANK YOU!  We still need your support, and one goal for us this year is to be fully supported monthly!  We are almost fully supported this year thanks to monthly and one-time gifts, but we are still not at full monthly support to be stable in the future.  So please continue to prayerfully consider partnering with us in that way.  Also, C needs a sponsor for her schooling, a need of $75/monthly.  Please contact me at ssinnes@gmail.com if you would like to help with that or have a question.

However, I want to present some non-PDE needs to you that would help our team to meet our yearly goals!  I am hopefully that maybe one of you has a deep interest in one of these areas and that God will move your heart to give and/or spread the word about these needs.  I am confident that in every one of these ministries the Gospel is going forth and God is using it for His glory.  Many of these are one-time gifts that you can keep in mind… the number in parenthesis is the account number that you would use to give on the website or in the memo section of your check.

1. Construction on our ministry center in La Isla $125,000 (92412) – this will provide office space for us, the completion of the seminary and medical clinic, and jobs for all of our workers for another year
2.  Medical clinic in La Isla - $15,000 (92419) – will provide supplies and furniture for a clinic, plus a lab with reduced prices, as well as specialized medical care for those who cannot otherwise afford it
3. Seminary $30,000 (92418) – tables, chairs, books, projector, all the things that you need to outfit a seminary where we will be using 3^rd millennium curriculum as well as guest lecturers and many other resources to provide theological education to local pastors.
4. Peter Project monthly support (92414) – giving to this ministry provides at risk boys the chance to hear the Gospel daily, go to school, get job training, learn live skills, and even see some family reconciliation
5.  Doctor Roger monthly support (92420) – our national partner, specialist in family medicine, pediatrics, and geriatrics, was training in Cuba and now has spent the last few years working alongside us in the existing Clinic.  Roger is now the head of MTW La Ceiba medical and raising his own support.  His contacts in the states are limited, but I promise he is well worth the investment.  He is our family doctor and has had a huge impact in a personal way in the communities where he works.  People hear the Gospel through the ministry that he is doing.  Please consider supporting him monthly to help pay his salary as well as stock the clinic.

Thanks for taking the time to read through our team needs.  It seems like money is always a limiting factor, but we know that God can and will provide!  And He may just use you… J  

Make my heart be still

I have a new favorite song these days.  I´ve been playing it non-stop as we drive around town living our somewhat hectic life.  Its from the Shane and Shane Psalms 2 CD... ¨Lord of Hosts¨.  This is my favorite part...

Though oceans roar, You are the Lord of all,
the one who calms the wind and waves and makes my heart be still.
Though the earth gives way, the mountains move into the sea, 
the nations rage, I know my God is in control.

I love the whole song, but honestly, most days I wish I could just put that one part on repeat because I so desperately need the reminders.  Daily, I long for the Lord to make my heart be still.  In the midst of busyness and sickness and homework and dinner prep... stillness sounds amazing.  And not just that, but sin and brokenness... its in our hearts and our homes and our city.  We live in a nation that is raging without a doubt.  Watching the news is like watching an out of control crime show many days.  I work with girls who have lived lives of abuse and suffering that are unthinkable and their past haunts them even now that they are safe.  The weight of sin and the brokenness of the world is too much if not for Jesus.

And so we say, ¨though oceans roar, the earth gives way, the nations rage... You are Lord of ALL, You are in control, and YOU alone make my heart be still!¨

A missionary

Last week she came to my house to watch the twins.  She didn't just watch the twins.  She cleaned my house, straightened my hair, did Nicolle's hair, and loved on our family.  We have been seeing huge growth in her recently.  She could easily be frustrated because she is currently spending her days at home just waiting to find a job.  We've gone job searching and talked to beauty salons, but nothing so far.  But instead of getting frustrated, she has decided to make the most of her time.

A few weeks ago her small group leader from church showed them the movie, "War Room"and it resonated with her.  If you haven't seen it, you should.  Its a great movie reminding us that our problems, although they seem earthly, are really Spiritual.  C took this message to heart and decided that she could use this movie as a way to talk to her family and friends about the Lord.  So she has been going to visit her mom, family, and classmates to watch the movie and talk about what it means.  She wants people to know Jesus!

While she was at my house we were talking and she shared with me... "I want to be a missionary.  How can I do that?  What do I have to do/be/study?  I want my job to be sharing about Jesus." And I hope she gets the chance because she is bold and strong and understands what it means to really need the Lord!