And then there were 3

The Lord is full of surprises.  I just said a couple of days ago that I was done looking for girls until after Semana Santa (the week before Easter).  We are going on a church conference with the girls and I booked the hotel room and everything is set for me and Oneyda and 2 girls.  Today the Lord decided to throw us for a loop and G moved in tonight with her 15 month old son!

Some friends here have known G for a few years now and have been helping she and her mom with food and other needs.  Yesterday I wrote about going to meet her for the first time and I got to see first-hand the situation with her mom.  Its difficult, to say the least.  Mom is manipulative and I would say, verbally abusive.  I never saw G smile while we were there, or much at all today even.  She is just weary from life and it shows on her face.  She has tried before to leave home, but her mom knew where she was and wouldn’t let her be until she came back.

Today we loaded up the car and went to see PDE.  G loved it.  I had told her she couldn’t move in until after next week, but she was ready to stay today.  After talking through the options of what could happen if she went back to stay with her mom we were pessimistic.  When her mom learned of her plans to really move out, it wouldn’t be pretty… there would heaping of guilt and shame and possible abuse, etc.  But G wanted to honor her mom and go and tell her face-to-face about her decision.  She was afraid to leave her with nothing, so we stopped and bought rice, beans, flour, sugar, etc. on the way.  We were all nervous b/c we just didn’t know what would happen when we got there.  We were prepared to jump in the car and take off without her clothes, papers, anything if mom got mad.  But the whole way there we just prayed…

And the Lord did a miracle.  Honestly, a miracle.  Her mom was happy, helpful, supportive… all the things they had told me she wouldn’t be.  And she accepted the rules and that she can’t know where the house is.  She helped us find their birth certificates and gave the baby a kiss on the way out.  I mean… the Lord answers prayers.  As we drove away G was grinning from ear to ear.  She was SO happy and just felt free!

So she’s with us in PDE!  Please pray for the transition.  Tonight the Lord really allowed me to see how sweet it is that the girls have bonded so much with Oneyda.  But I also saw it from the eyes of trying to break into that, and it will be intimidating.  And I need to see if we can get her to the conference next week, and, and, and…

The Lord’s mercies are new every morning, GREAT is HIS FAITHFULNESS!

G and Elias

Today I visited a shack by the river.  In this shack lives a 22 year old girl with her 15 month old little boy.  For the last couple of years I have been stuck on the name Elias if the Lord ever gives me a son of my own… guess what this little guy’s name is? :)

G lives in this house with her mom and her 2 and 4 year old siblings.  She is scared of her mom, although I don’t know the whole background story, and mom is very firm about everything.  They have nothing and no way to get anything.  The problem is poverty, but there are probably other problems too.  The little boys hair is blond in parts, showing signs of chronic malnutrition.  Although he isn’t super thin, his body is not getting the vitamins that he needs.

We talk about Jesus and about PDE.  We talk about the chance for a new life and dream and opportunities for the future.  She says she doesn’t want to go… until mom leaves the room.  Then she says she doesn’t have to think about it, she knows she wants to come, she just doesn’t know how to go against her mom. 

Tomorrow she is going to come and visit.  And we are going to pray.  Pray for wisdom for me, for G, and for the family that is helping me be in contact with her.  And pray for her mom’s heart to be softened if this is what the Lord has for her.

English Lessons

Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes Knees and Toes…

Just a few weeks ago she started speaking English words out loud and will now repeat almost everything that I say.  She doesn’t say anything yet unprompted, but we’re working on it.  She’s a cutie, that’s for sure :)

Cultural Swings

They say that culture shock comes in waves, and I believe them.  Over the past 11 months there have times when I love this culture, hate this culture, don’t feel like I know this culture, and the list goes on.  I would love to find a place to hang out that is a healthy balance.

This week… I’m frustrated.  And it has a lot less to do with the culture than it has to do with me.  I’m tired of not saying what I thought I said and finding out people were waiting on me when I didn’t know I was supposed to be going somewhere.  I’m tired of not knowing when its okay to say something and when you’re supposed to be quiet.  I’m tired of not knowing how to respond when I feel like a situation is pushing the limits of appropriate.  I don’t know how to be an employer.  I don’t always know how to be a friend.

I am confident that I am exactly where the Lord wants me to be.  But I did find myself this week longing for home a little bit where I know what to expect when I have a conversation with someone, where I say exactly what I mean to say.  Just wait… next week I’ll be okay and probably be able to list off 100 culture things that I love.  But for this week I’m tired of all the not knowing.

Many are the Plans

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails!” Proverbs 19:21

I am weary of the emotional rollercoaster that I am riding these days.  I’m not even sure I can count the times that I have gotten excited in anticipation of meeting a new girl, of the possibility of her moving into PDE, only to find out it wasn’t going to work out.  Wednesday I met a girl who was a perfect candidate to come, seemed really excited about it, and we planned to move her in this morning.  Yesterday she told me that she would rather go with her sister who has told her she can stay there for no longer than a month.  And I just was so sad.

I know these girls are out there and that they are needy.  I really thought we would have a full house by now.  I want to find them and love them and welcome them in with open arms… but for some reason the Lord is asking us to wait.

I trust that the Lord knows who these girls are and, as a friend said yesterday, is hand-picking them for us.  Please pray for my heart in the waiting, and the anticipation, and the feelings of being let-down when it doesn’t work out.  In those moments it is hard to trust.

I hesitate to even write on this blog anymore when I have news until I am certain that it is going to happen.  I just don’t want to have to give answers when it doesn’t work out.  But at the same time, I’m so thankful for those of you who are walking this journey with me, getting excited with me, feeling disappointed with me… I think I need that.  So I’ll try to keep you updated.  And you can just keep praying.

Transformation

Sometimes its like talking to a brick wall.  I have led Bible studies for high school students for a number of years now and there always moments like that.  Some week are great and you feel like they are really hearing you and sometimes you would swear you were speaking Swahili for the looks on their faces.  Transfer to a new culture and a new language… its still the same. 

We have been studying once a week “Religion vs. the Gospel of Christ”.  We have talked about grace and how there is nothing that we can do that makes God love us any more or any less.  We have talked about obedience and gratitude and trusting that God’s plan for our lives really is best.  When we trust God, we obey Him because we know that He isn’t out to get us in any way.

This week C went to see her aunt in her old neighborhood.  She grew up in a very legalistic and rules-based church there and never felt freedom in Christ.  Yesterday she told me that she shared the Gospel with her aunt, that she can be saved by grace alone and not by her works, that she doesn’t have to live under guilt and shame because she can’t keep all the rules, that the Lord’s love for her is constant.  She basically shared all the things that we’ve been learning and she really believes them and wants her family to know Jesus in a real and personal way.

The Word of God does not come back void.  Sometimes they listen and they learn.  The Word of God is powerful.  Its transforming their hearts.  And it is awesome to watch.

Who said you have to nap in a bed?

They are angels when they are sleeping :)  And not always angels in the grocery store.  So I sat in the car waiting while the girls shopped, reading my book and enjoying the chance to watch sleeping babies and catch a much needed breath.

It lasted almost 20 whole minutes :)  Y came to the car in tears because they were fighting about how many green peppers to buy.  Sometimes sin is downright laughable.  But its so much more deep rooted than that.  Its insecurities about education and being smart enough and being able to do this on their own.  Its proving that they are right and trying to get out from under all the mean things they have said to each other in anger in the past.  Its learning to forgive and work together and talk things out. 

So I wish I had a picture of the next 20 minutes as I carried these two sleepy munchkins through the store mediating and listening and biting my tongue to let them learn through their own mistakes.  And they did it.  They bought a weeks worth of groceries and we were tear-free when we left.  That counts for something right?