Privacy

When I first got to Honduras I felt really strongly about taking pictures and talking about kids and posting it on the internet.  You may remember the surprisingly absent amount of pictures on my first blogposts about the kids coming to our house.  I felt strongly that I wanted them to know that I wanted to know THEM… not just take their picture.  And I wanted to protect them and their privacy.

Then life happened.  It is just so easy when you live here and you love these kids and they seem like they are your family.  And you want everyone at home to see their precious faces and love them the way that you do because a picture expresses a thousand words.  It really does.

But I’m learning.  What I want to do is not always best.  Through my visits to childrens’ homes and the pavement project training, I was really convicted that for me I need to stick to my original train of thought.  One thing that someone told me stuck out to me so much.  She just reminded me that so many of these kids have suffered abuse and their abuser is still out there somewhere.  I just want to be careful that I don’t put them in harms way for the sake of a picture.

I am telling you this not to force my convictions on anyone else.  But rather, to explain.  You probably won’t be seeing pictures of the Puerta de Esperanza girls on this blog.  I feel more comfortable sending out pictures via email where they aren’t for all the world to see.  So we’ll see how that goes later.  But that’s why the nameless girl in the last post and the lack of pictures of her smiling face and the face of her precious daughter.  You’ll just have to trust me that today they looked full of joy!

He is before ALL things…

And in Him all things hold together.” – Colossians 1:17

This is the verse I read to a 15 year old girl at 9:20 this morning before we made our way back to La Ceiba.  It’s a verse I’ve put on this blog before as it has really become a life verse for me.  This morning I read it for my sake just as much as hers. 

She is 15, has a 15 month old baby, was kicked out of the only home she’d ever known, spent time on the street, and is so fearful that no one will ever want her.  She is insecure and timid because of where she has come from.  But she is a good mom, a playful kid at heart, and wants desperately to make good choices for her life and the life of her daughter.

I am 28 with a huge job ahead of me.  I have no idea what I’m doing or what steps to take next.  I need a staff, girls, money, knowledge of the school system, more Spanish, and the list goes on.  And then I have a personal life where my car is leaking power steering fluid and I spent more money than I wanted to on a yellow fever shot adventure.  But I want to know more of Jesus, I want to serve Him and say yes when He calls.  I want to pray more and feel anxious less.  I want to learn to trust my Father.

And the Lord loves us.  Both of us.  And He holds us in His hands.  And He goes before us in every step.  And it is only because of Jesus that our lives don’t come crashing apart.

This morning I think we both felt peaceful.  I know that I did.  We both shed a few tears as I prayed and I know I shed more as the day went on.  But we were reminded of our God who loved us and knows us and calls us each by name.

And here’s the best news.  She wants a bedroom.  Seriously, she fell in love with a bedroom with sunlight streaming in the window.  And sitting on the bed after talking through all of her questions, this precious girl told me that she wants to be our first girl to live in the home and be a part of what God is doing there!  She knows we don’t know what we’re doing yet… and she still has the courage and faith to jump in with us!  Wow.  I asked the Lord to bless us with easy girls at first to get our feet wet and He has more than answered.  There will be bumps in the road, but I love this girl already.  And also… today she ate pizza for the first time in her life.  Can you imagine?  And she loved it :) 

Currency

Let’s count it up…

Dollars, Lempira, Soles, Quetzales, Pesos

Yep, they’ve all been in my wallet in the past month.  Sheesh.

But as of today I’m retired them all for the Lempira because I am HOME!  Back in my house, in my bed, on my couch.  I feel like I just sounded like the seagulls from Finding Nemo… “mine, mine, mine, mine, mine…” The honest thing is though… that’s how I feel!  So glad to be HOME!  And really so thankful in my heart that this place now really feels like HOME!

We did it!

After an intense week of training, Kate and I are both certified by SGM lifewords to use their “Maletin Verde” and do counseling with at risk kids using the Pavement Project material!

Believe me… it’s a big deal :)

Here’s some pictures from the week… not great ones, but… whatever!

This is Kate doing her first practice counseling session

The famous maletin verde

Kate and I with our fellow MTW missionary Martha who works with street children in Mexico City.  She was helping to lead the training and was able to tell us many stories of how the Lord has used this material in the lives of kids.

Here we are!  Our fearless leaders and 8 participants armed with our new supplies. 

It was a BLESSING to meet all of these ladies and get another glimpse of all that the Lord is doing to draw people to Himself around the world.  All these women work with kids at risk and the Lord has given them a real love for Him and for His Word.

Best news of all… armed with my yellow fever vaccine card… I’m going home!  I’ll be back in Honduras tonight :)

On humility

If you ask any of my friends they can tell you… I have a life motto.

“If you’re not good at something, just don’t do it.”

Its true.  I have lived by that motto… until moving to a Spanish speaking country.  There is nothing more humbling than being in “Spanish Kindergarten” as I took to calling language school.  Well, I thought there wasn’t anything more humbling.  But here I am.

This training has challenged me to the end of my language ability, but also to the core of my heart and who I am.  I realized, again, how prideful I am.  I have found myself thinking over and over again… if only this was in English, I could do it so easily.  Well praise the Lord that it isn’t because I would have been missing the point.

Tomorrow I have to do a counseling session with a kid that I have never met before while 8 national Spanish speakers and 2 fluent gringas watch me on a TV screen.  Really?!?  Awesome.  Lets take all the things that are hard for me and squeeze them into one 45 minute session.  Great.

But it will be great.  I have had to pray and rely on the Lord this week so much.  I know that the words that I speak will be His words, and the work that happens in the life of this child will be His work.  If he wants me to speak clearly, I will.  And none of it by my own strength.

So, I concede to doing something things that is not a strength and just pray that God will get the glory.  You can pray too… you know… if you want. :)

We’re official

There are so many different steps to making Puerta de Esperanza official in all the different facets.  But, we made a huge leap this week because we are now officially an MTW project!  We have an account number and everything.

This is good news because it means that people can now give funds directly to Puerta de Esperanza.

I’m reading a book called “Kisses from Katie”.  Soon you’ll be getting so many quotes from it on this blog that you might as well read it yourself.  But I don’t have enough time for that right now. :)  But she is a missionary in Uganda and talks about fundraising.  I must admit… she has a MUCH better attitude about it than I do.  But I’m going to try to learn from her.

I do value the opportunity to share what the Lord is doing in Honduras and in the lives of girls that I am already meeting.  But more than that, in this step of the process, I would love to be able to share with you and blow you away with how the Lord has already provided so much of what we need.  And I want to petition you to pray that the Lord would provide the staff that I need and the girls who need to live there.  And please pray that I will trust the Lord’s timing and His plan and that I would give up my striving to just follow in His leading.  To me these prayers are so much more valuable at this moment than your finances.

And yet, we need finances as well.  I just had to turn in a budget and its more money than we have right now.  The girls didn’t move in in October like I thought they would b/c that was not the Lord’s timing.  So there is no one helping with the bills.  I’m more convinced than ever that we need to hire a physiologist and a social worker to be part-time and I wasn’t planning on that.  So… we do have financial needs.

Please pray for us!  And please consider giving monetarily.  If you’re interested or if you want to know more, please email me at ssinnes@gmail.com.  And if you want to give… here is the info you need.

Click here and put in this project account number when you give #92413.

Thank you thank you thank you :)

Quick update…

My life is so crazy these days that I want to apologize for my lack of blogging but its honestly b/c I have had no other choice.  And I’m without internet most of the week… so it will be awhile before I can post again.  But when I do, it will probably lots stored up :)  I have so much I want to say.  For now, here’s this…

Just wanted to give you all an update. Kate and I just finished our first full day of training in Mexico City for the pavement project. This program is AWESOME! And we cannot wait to implement it in Honduras. I for one am so thankful for the Lord's blessing today on my Spanish. I was able to understand about 95% of what was being said, and that's awesome. I've really been praying for the Lord to open my ears b/c I've been nervous that my Spanish isn't good enough. If anything has been impressed upon me in the last 3 weeks of traveling, visiting sites, and learning it would be this. Jesus is the most important thing. Without a doubt, He is doing it, He is changing hearts. And I have to trust Him... so much more than I have been trusting Him. And I have to pray every morning that I will stop doings things according to my plan and just say yes to what He has for me that day. So... when you read this, please just pray for us. Pray that we will soak up everything that we need to learn. But more importantly that we will trust Jesus, and trust the precious children that we will be working with to Him, and that we will learn to stop striving and just say YES to what the Lord has for us to do. Thanks so much for your love and support.