Not even crayons

I must have looked at our paperwork a dozen times over the last few days.  Piles and piles of papers and checklists and pictures and passports.  Even once we were in the capital city I pulled out the file a few times, just to make sure the passports hadn't dissapeared!  It is so nerve-wracking to think that because of one missing paper this whole process could stall out again or put us off for months.

Before we went into the embassy we just prayed as a family that whatever God wanted for us would be clear and that we would be at peace with His will for us.  A hard thing to pray when you are planning and counting on a certain response.  But I loved knowing that my kids are learning to put things in God's hands and to trust His answer.  And they kept praying while we were inside, although I didn't know it until later.  Angel said every time he felt nervous, he prayed again for God to do what was best for us as a family.

And we sat.  And we waited.  From 6:30am until they finally called our name at 10:00, we waited.  They confiscated our crayons and coloring book designed to keep kids sane and the snack machine only accepted small bills, which I didn't really have.  So the kids split one small bag of chips for breakfast and we waited.

They accepted all of our paperwork, and I breathed a deep sigh of relief!  We weren't missing anything!  In fact, we had more than we needed.  The man was really kind and patient and helped make it less stressful.  Once the papers were gathered he sent us back to our seats... to wait again.

Then we went in to the interview.  All of us were nervous as we entered that room and waited as he asked a few questions and typed things into the computer.  And then we heard the words, your residency is approved!!!!!!!!!!!  There are no words for the relief that I felt and the joy that I saw in the kids' faces.  As we left the room they were literally jumping up and down!

Andres thought we were going on a plane yesterday and was dissapointed at every stop on the 7 hour drive home that we weren't at the airport.  No amount of explaining can help him understand that we have things to do before we can leave.  The kid is just ready to fly!

But there were also some tears and saddness for all of us as the reality set in that goodbyes are near and we will soon be leaving the place that we call home.  Its incredible how one can feel such joy and sadness all at the same time.  But we know now with clarity that this is the journey that God is taking our family on and He is the one who goes before us and holds us in His hands.    My theme verse for when I moved to Honduras will become my theme as we move our family to NC.

He is before all things and in His all things hold together!  Colossians 1:17

What we leave behind

The United States is easily depicted as the grass being greener on the othe side by so many here in Honduras.  And the truth is, it is a world of opportunity.  I don't like that people go illegally to the states, but after living here, I get it.  There are people who I have met who know that they are working themselves sick and barely providing for their children while their children could have clean running water,  three meals a day, and clothes to wear even if they are caught while crossing over the border and put into a home.  At some point, meeting the very most basic of your childrens' needs drives you to desperation.  Others go for other reasons, but for the sake of this blog, lets just focus on the fact that the majority of families that I know have some outside support coming in from family who has made it to the States or somewhere in Europe and they make money and send it back.  Makes it easy to see why the United States is thought of as the promised land.  Money made in the states pays for many a Honduran child to go to school, families to eat, and children to be clothed and have a place to live.

As I process going to live in the US however, I have a little bit of a different point of view.  I love my country, don't get me wrong, and I am proud to be an American.  I don't agree with everything and the way that it is done, but I am thankful for the roots that God gave me.  At the same time, I am so thankful for the time that I have had to live elsewhere.  American culture is missing some really rich things that I have found in the Latino culture here in Honduras.  Some are things that I adjusted to easily because I felt like they were already part of me, and some of them I accepted kicking and screaming and now can't believe that I will leave them behind.

I want to be careful that as a family we don't lose some of the valuable lessons that this culture has taught us as we head back to the more focused, hurried culture of the US.

Hospitality.  The people here get it right.  I cannot tell you the number of homes that I have been invited into and the meals that I have eaten from someone else's table.  And you know with every bite that it is a joy for them for you to be there.  And no one cares that there are 7 people in your family, or that you were really just stopping by for a second or that they didn't have time to clean up.  We are about people and relationships.  Even on the day before pay day when there isn't any money, we can all sit around and drink a soda and chat for awhile.  So come on in.  This feels right and natural to me.  We have had more people live with us, stay a few days, sleep on the couch, eat at our table, borrow some clothes and stay an extra day, then I can even count.  I am not an excellent housekeeper, come on, I have 5 children.  But to be hospitable, I don't have to be.  I don't have to keep extra food around or worry that I haven't made enough when extra people stop by.  So everyone has a tiny portion instead of a normal portion, no big deal.  Or you make some scrambled eggs.  No one cares.  Its about being in each other's living space and living together.  And because most people don't have private transportation, if it gets late, they stay.  And there is nothing weird about that.  And I may wake up and find them in my kitchen making tortillas or sweeping the floor.  And then I beg them to never leave :)  Just kidding.  But really, I don't want to lose the ability to just have people come into our life and join  our crazy.  I am thankful that this was modeled to me as a child although it is not normal American life.  I come from a long line of women who love to have people in and feed them, probably one reason it seemed so easy!

Waiting.  Growing up in the US I didn't learn how to wait.  Especially now with so many things automated, I feel like there isn't a huge need to learn how to just be and wait and do nothing.  Here there are so many places to practice!  And people rarely seem frustrated about it.  Yes, waiting in traffic is aparently the exception and the horns going off prove that.  But go into a bank where you have to have your phone turned off and people will wait standing in line for over an hour just being.  Kids learn from a young age that waiting and sitting or standing for long periods of time is just part of life.  I'm still not great at it and I certainly don't like it, but I feel like I have gained an essential life skill of just patiently waiting and being because you certainly can't do anything to make it faster.  My friends laughed because after just a few months of living in Latin America, I was home for a friend's wedding and didn't even notice that the pastor was an hour late to the rehearsal.  Waiting was already habit!

Family.  We leave a lot of family behind.  And a really close-knit community of family.  Lesther grew up hearing that you siblings or who you have in life, depend on them, lean on them, use them, and expect that they will need you as well.  They do things in a group.  When one wants to buy a car, everyone pitches in because they know that is the car taking them to the hospital at one in the morning when they have an emergency.  When someone is sick, they all work to make the money to pay for the hospital and medication.  They are each other's childcare system.  Between Lesther mom and sisters there is almost always someone who is home and can care for my kids, even at the last minute.  And they don't call asking when I'll be back... if it gets late they just assume the kids are staying and the bathe them and put them to bed.  I want to instill this in my kids, but it will harder to do when we don't live here.  You are each other's best allies in life.  Be good examples for each other.  Take each other's side and stand up for one another.  Support each other and point each other to Jesus in everything.  And be there for each other whatever it takes.

Food.  I crave chick-fil-a and a good steak pretty much all the time.  But Hondurans put on a good spread.  And they also know how to work with a budget and serve yummy food for cheap.  I love that I can take my whole family out to dinner for $15. And I love that I can take my inlaws dinner by picking up tortillas and cheese on the way to their house.  Or I can have people over and serve tortillas and eggs and that is a totally acceptable dinner.  I'm doing my best to learn our favorite recipes, but I don't make them like a Honduran grandma does, that's for sure.  And oh how I will miss fresh fruit from a roadside stand or being able to buy all manner of things by sticking my head out the car window.  True story, I was in line for medicine at the pharmacy drive through when I realized the store next store has a drive through window right next to me and they sell cheese.  Well, I need cheese, how convenient!  I regularly by my kids bananas from the side of the road for snack if we are out longer than planned.  And the avacados and mangoes... so good!

There are so many more... may have to be another post :)

The Awkward

I've decided to pull the blog out again for a time to process this time of transition in our life.  I had forgotten just how theurapeutic writing is for me. :)

Bring on the awkward.  I have no idea how to prepare my children for how awkward it will be to enter into life in the US.  From a broad standpoint, the cultures just aren't that different.  Sure, it is a different language, but my kids speak English and have been in bilingual school.  They have learned to eat some American foods and have had their share of Burger King and Pizza Hut and the other random fast food chains that the US has sent to Honduras.  We know most of the popular music and have seen most recent movies.  So, you know, not a hard transition, right?  Wrong.  I'm worried about it and I lived the first 27 years of my life there.

When we walk into a room, my children will likely kiss you on the cheek.  All of you.  Whoever you happen to be :)  It doesn't matter if you're mid-conversation or didn't say hello to them.  They have spent the last however many years of their lives being reprimanded for not giving a proper greeting, and interrupting to make sure you greet everyone is part of that.  The value is placed on the newcomer being welcomed and the newcomer greeting.  The value is not on your conversation that you were having and whether you wanted to finish it or not.  So, if we are rude, excuse us.  We were only being polite!

And about productivity (this one was the hardest for me until I learned to love it)... In general, we are coming from a culture that values people over tasks.  What?!?  Not get all my things done in a day?  Or sometimes not do any of them at all.  Why are we late, constantly?  Well... that conversation went long, or I ran into someone and gave them a ride home, or I dropped everything to run to see a friend in need, etc.  Part of the lack of productivity in my daily life comes from poor systems in place and that I am more than ready to bid farewell (enter any governement transaction).  But the far greater reason for things not going according to plan is because people are far more important than whatever I needed to get done.  And you know what?  I like it.  I like it because I think it is actually true.  So when we're late it could be because someone pooped on the way out the door (which also happens), or maybe we're just taking a minute for people.

I can't even begin to imagine how often we are going to collectively speak to a salesperson or cashier in the wrong language.  And it is likely we will have little Spanish words intertwined in all of our English conversations because Spanglish is our jam in this house.  So when you don't understand what a cola is, it's a rubberband, not a coke.  And our grammer is all screwed up because even when we can get whole sentences out in English is comes out something like "The dog of Papi took a fart".  Direct translation going strong.  We'll adjust, but it could be awkward 'till we do!

No personal space.  My children don't even know what that is.  We all stand way to close to people and talk too close to your face.  Crowding you in line at the grocery store or at the check out counter is a given because if I don't, I will never get out of this place.  If I give an inch, someone else is sure to squeeze in there and I will be here forever.

I remember as a child that we had some Latino neighbors that lived in front of our house.  On Saturdays they had this weird custom of bringing their furniture outside and playing loud music and just hanging out outside all day long.  I used to think it was so weird.  Now that is my family.  Now granted, we may be living it up in the central AC and never set food out the door... hard to say :)

There are so many more...  I just know there will be all kinds of mixups and mistakes and cultural learning and relearning to do.  We hope to see it as an adventure, but there are days that it is sure to make us sad.  Be patient with us because we are going to have to change, but not forget because this is home too.  Remember we're third culture people now and we'll always live in the middle!

Nesting

When I was pregnant with the twins, I spent a lot of time at second hand stores buying them clothes of all sizes.  Then I would sit in their soon-to-be room and fold clothes and sort clothes while praying for what our family future held and what these two little ones would bring to our life.  I imagined what their personalities would be and what they would enjoy.  Each outfit brought another soft fabric that they would wear while I rocked them to sleep or snuggled them for naptime.  I used their clothes to process the huge life change that they would bring to our family.  And what a wonderful change it has been.

I'm doing it again.  Not awaiting the arrival of a new little one, but awaiting a huge life change.  We are potentially weeks away from moving our family of 7 to the United States.  A week from today we will enter the long-awaited interview that decides where we will be living a month from now.  After a year and a half of waiting, we are so ready to not live in this limbo anymore.

During this change I've been back to the thrift stores and the clothes buying.  One, because it is surprisingly cost-efficient to clothe my family in winter clothes from a country where we sweat year round.  Do you know that no one wants to buy a winter coat here?  Even name brand ones with the tags still on them?  No shocker.  But it means I can get them for $3 :)  That makes it worth the extra suitcase!  And two, becuase I'm nesting, I'm processing.  Somehow in clothes buying I get to imagine what each of my family members' lives will be like through this change.  I get to pray for the friends that they will make, the Sunday school class they will be in, the ways that they will grow and change.  And I get to pray for the tears that they will cry that have already started as they think about saying goodbye.

So many unknowns await us and we have no idea what this new season will bring.  We trust and cling to the fact that God's hand is in this and has been from the beginning.  We believe He has called us to this life change and He is the one who has opened doors up to now.  We have seen His hand in the timing, although we've been in Honduras months longer than we thought.  I've gotten to homeschool and spend some much needed time with my kids being mom.  I've watched them grow together and learn to better love and support each other.  Eliana me yesterday that she doesn't like it like it when all of her brothers and sisters aren't home.  "I happy Mami, my family best friends"  is what she told me when Nicolle walked in the door after being gone all day.  So we trust that this time has been good for us.

In the midst of trusting and waiting, we are also apprehensive.  We are walking into something that is all new for us.  A new culture that, although it was mine for a long time, is not really mine anymore.  And it has never been my family's culture.  We have lots of conversations about what things will be like, but that doesn't mean that we won't all do the wrong thing... about a thousand times.  But that's for another post.

For now we wait, and trust, and try to make it through this one last week of unknowns.  This week we dream and pray and imagine what God has in store for us.

January Newsletter

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Learning

Something that the girls and I both love is when they get to teach me something new!

How did I get to be 33 years old and I don´t know how to cut up a whole chicken correctly?  Saturday afternoon our house mom had an obligation and the girls came over here to our house for a little while.  K taught me to cut up a whole chicken into beautiful pieces and then make the most delicious fried chicken ever!  They watched Elf and helped me with my weekly meal planning/cooking session and left me freshly made corn tortillas for dinner.

I want to be a thousand times more humble than I am.  I want to be a learner and receive help well and have lots more days like Saturday.  But its hard and my pride gets in the way.  Its something that I see in myself that helps me to understand where the girls are coming from in a lot of ways.

They don't come from good backgrounds, don't have good habits, don't know everything about , keeping a house, being a mom, going to school, having a good interview, etc.  But its hard to learn new things and be humble and accept that you've learned a lot of things wrong in your life and now you have to relearn them.  And it takes a long time and a lot of new experiences to be able to accept that.  You have to see new examples and see people doing things a different way to want to change.

But it happens... slowly but surely, it happens.

These past few weeks have been really good with our youngest, C.  She has her moments, but overall, we are seeing BIG changes in her!  She has come up with goals for herself and is working hard to meet them.  She is talking more freely about her family and her past and what she desires for a future relationship with them.  She is working hard on her relationship with her daughter.  I'm just proud of her.  She has been with us a little over a year and its taken this long for her to realize that she wants a different future and that it is worth the hard work.  That's learning!

God is so good to let me be on the front lines to watch these girls learn and change and see the same things happening in me.

Faith

I have often taught Bible studies that touch on the theme of faith.  Time after time I have used the example of a chair to get the point across.  I can say from across the room that I trust that the chair will hold me or that I have faith in the strength of the chair... but real faith is exercised when I actually walk across the room and sit down in said chair.  That is putting my faith into action... and that is where I find myself this week.

The last two months have been some of the most stretching of my life.  I have struggled with real anxiety and fear and I've been having a hard time just sitting down in the chair and letting what I know about the Lord actually take root in my heart.  I know that He is good.  I know that He is a provider.  I know that He has proven Himself faithful time and time again.  And yet... I still find it hard to trust... why is that?

Did you know that PDE hasn't been fully funded ever in the last nearly 5 years?!?  If you take a look at our monthly budget and monthly giving we should have closed down a long time ago.  And yet... God has always provided.  No one has ever gone hungry and we've always paid the electric bill and our employees.  And God has used that to keep the house open and we have seen many come to know Him as a result.  But from a worldly point of view, it just doesn't make sense.

And PDE support is my missionary support which means that when PDE isn't fully funded, I'm not fully funded.  And that, my friends, is a scary place to sit when we're talking about your own family and your kids and putting food on the table.  To be quite honest, I'm looking forward to in the next stage of life not living off of support!  It has been good for me, and stretching, unpleasant at times, and some days surprisingly joyful but I'm not going to miss it :)

And then there is our paperwork, visas, green cards, waiting on the government... a whole lot of things that are hard to time.  And at the same time I want to be faithful and leave well and leave PDE taken care of when we leave.  So I'm anxious about the timing and anxious that I will work myself out of a job before our paperwork is ready for us to move.  As you may imagine, tinking about moving a family of 7 overseas has a lot of details that comes with it... and oh the culture shock that is sure to unsue!

So this is a stage of a lot of waiting and trusting and asking the Lord for peace of heart.  And I'm not always doing a good job of sitting in the chair and exercising my faith.  Can you pray with and for me that I will trust the Lord's provision?  For the ministry, for my family, for this time of transition...

Colossians 1:17 was my theme verse about the time that I moved to Costa Rica and then Honduras and its one that I will clinging too strongly over the next 6-8 months as well!

And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. - Colosians 1:17

work

Continuing on with my effort of trying to get back into the blogging world...

Its vacation from school in Honduras.  From now until February we have four girls who aren't doing much just hanging around the house.  Please read... recipe for disaster.  Like any teenagers, they need to be kept busy and have things to do otherwise the petty fights and disagreement begin to mount.  So we've started off vacation with morning devotionals to make sure everyone is up and ready at a reasonable hour and start the days off focused on whats really important!

Today I was almost in tears after devotional because we started talking about how our two oldest girls really need to be working.  They have looked for work and left tons of resumes, but no one wants to hire them because they don't have experience.  Well, you can't have experience if you never work.  They are discouraged and ready to quit trying.  Its just not a city where you can find a job if you're willing to do whatever, there is so much unemployment and people want you to have finished high school to fry chicken in the kitchen at a hole in the wall restaurant.  Its hard to find a chance... an opportunity to get started.

P is going to try to start nursing school in February which would give her a much better chance of work upon graduation.  However, we have told her she has to work in the meantime and pay for half of her studies so that she makes the investment.  And yet... work is illusive.  In the meantime, she is learning and gathering nursing experience at the clinic.  Please pray for her to find a job!

And then there is K.  She is the one who had me in tears as the tears streamed down her face as we talked.  Let just say that Hondurans don't pride themselves on being equal opportunity employers.  She has a problem with her eye and its evident when you look at her.  And no one will give her a second look for a job because of it.  I tell her all the time if she can just get a job, any job, that person will never want to lose her because she is the hardest worker that I know!  She can learn anything, do anything, and will do it 100% to the best of her ability for as long as she needs to.  She is amazing and has so much to offer, but isn't even given a chance.  And its hard to go look for jobs and put yourself through rejection after rejection.  And we have been trying to help her learn a job skill... she was learning sewing but because of her vision problems ended up with daily migraines trying to stare at tiny stitches all day.  And we put her beauty school but because she didn't start school until age 15, she is behind in reading and writing and couldn't keep up with all the writing from the board, so the teacher wouldn't let her stay.  She is now 20, has made it through 6th grade, and is a fighter.  She would like to learn how to make and decorate cakes and pastries because she could start a home business, but I can't find anyone to teach her.  Can you just pray?  Pray that she wouldn't be discouraged watching other girls come and go from the home as she struggles to know what her future will hold.  Pray for us to know how to love and encourage her and push her as necessary.

These girls are our family.  They are daughters to me and I love them dearly.  I want them to succeed and I want to help!  And sometimes its just so hard to be wise in a culture that almost 6 years later I still don't understand fully.  Just pray for God's provision, its what they need!

PDE video

Friends of PDE...
We need your help!  We need you to help spread the word about PDE.  We are in need of monthly and one-time support and are feeling the burden of having to make decisions about whether or not to accept new girls based on our budget situation.  We have a 16 year old pregnant girl that we would love to bring to the home right now, but we don't have the $400/month needed to make that happen.  So please, consider showing this video to your friends and family and being an advocate for us to raise the money that we so desperately need!

This video tells Claudia's story beautifully.  And in conclusion, she has now moved out of the home and is working full-time as a stylist in a local salon, supporting her little boy, Alexis, and growing in her love for Jesus.  God is so so good!!!!


Door of Hope -- Puerta de Esperanza from MTW on Vimeo.

New House Mom

We need your prayers!

In September Doña Oneyda (pictured in the middle) stopped working with PDE for personal reasons, especially health related. She had been with us from day 1 and is the primary mom figure in the lives of most of the girls who have come through the home in the last 4.5 years. We really miss her, but are thankful that she was able to come on Saturday to celebrate birthdays with us and enjoy some PDE family time! She is still suffering from intense migraines daily and the doctors have not been able to figure out what is wrong. Can you please pray for her healing and wisdom for her doctors?

Also, in light of that, Cristina has been working a lot more and we have been unable to find another house mom to work with her. We thought we had someone this week, but it fell through. A good friend of mine had been helping for a time, but it now unavailable. We need someone ASAP so that Cristina doesn´t get burnt out as the job is not an easy one! Please, please pray that God provides the right person quickly!!!

Dependence and Faith

I titled this post Dependence and Faith because I feel like that is exactly where God has me at the moment.  I know I just sent out a newsletter and its record-breaking for me to send out something else so soon, but we are in need.  It seems to happen every time I get comfortable... every time I seem to think that I´ve got this support raising thing under control and we´re living with a nice buffer.  I was excited about my trip in September because I felt like I was going into it ahead.  We needed to raise money, but it wasn´t as desperate of a situation as it has been in the past.  But then I started to look over numbers and it just so happened that this month of September there isn´t enough money to make it to the end of the month!

Things happen with supporters over time that are normal.  We pick up new people and some people can´t give anymore.  But I tend to believe that support raising has a lot more to do with what God is teaching me.

The ministry of Puerta de Esperanza belongs to the Lord!  He started it and is using it and is changing hearts and drawing people to Himself.  And He owns the cattle on a thousand hills.  If he wanted us to be fully funded, we would be.  But instead He allows us to feel needy to know that we need His provision, we need Him to open doors and provide partners.  We need to pray and we need to trust.  And we need to give our worries over to Him.

And we need a community.  We cannot do this ministry in a vacuum.  We need others to pray and labor alongside of us, even if they never meet these girls in person.  We need the church to hold us up monetarily, emotionally, and prayerfully.  We need those encouraging emails when it has been a hard month.  We need to be reminded that we do not labor in vain.  And we need others´ monetary investment to make this ministry possible.

So, trusting that it is the Lord that provides, I am doing my part to be  faithful and ask.  Could it be that He wants to use you to answer our financial needs at this time?  Could you give a one-time gift?  Could you give monthly however great or small?  Please consider it because now is the time... we have great need and we trust that God will use some of you who read this to answer it.

When things are hard

Sometimes things are hard.  No amount of correction or conversation or counseling seems to make them better.  Sometimes poor behavior comes from deep seated wounds from the past that keep getting brought to the forefront time and time again.  Sometimes when you are a young girl trying to have a normal life, you just want to be left alone.

There past few weeks have been really hard with one of our girls.  I can't share too many details out of respect for her privacy, but its been rough.  She has a past that I can't even imagine and a story that is really just hard.  Her circumstances have left her feeling alone.  And its a loneliness where you just feel like somebody should be on your side, somebody should have stood up for you, somebody should have protected you.  And its true.  What kind of mom lets the things happen that happen to her?  Well... maybe a mom who has no choice?  I don't know... everything in me wants to just be angry at her family for letting things get so bad... but I wasn't there and I don't know what else was going on... and yet... sigh.

This girl has suffered and continue to have to deal with things over and over again as her past just hasn't left her in peace.  And now she is trying to be a high school student, and a mom, and a normal kid who likes to do normal kid things... and she cannot seem to find the balance.  And her behavior shows that.  So she is frustrated.  She doesn't want to act so poorly, but it seems to just happen.  And then she loses more privileges or makes people frustrated and it seems to make it worse.

And then there we are, the leadership, trying to know how to help.  Some behaviors can't be overlooked or excused.  Others we can work with.  She is seeing a counselor, but these things take time.  She is starting medication, but these things take time.  And in the meantime, what?!?  Day after frustrating day of trying to push for change...

But Jesus.  That's the answer.  These days have been really hard and seem to not be getting much better.  But Jesus has the answer, He is the answer.  So we pray.  And we trust.  And we give her over to Him.  Because no amount of counseling or medication or conversation or discipline is going to mend the wounds that are deep in her heart.  And we ask for wisdom to be people of grace in her life who know when to show tough love and when to just give hugs and cry for a little while.  And we read her Scripture and we use every ounce of patience God gives us to show her that we are on her side.  And not only that, but God is on her side.  He loves her and gave His son for her so that she can be free to have a different life.  She doesn't have to be stuck in pain and the consequences of sin forever.  There is freedom and joy and life on the other side!

Please continue to pray with us for all of these things.  Pray for healing that only Jesus can bring and an outpouring of Godly love from us to her.  Pray that she would not just know about Jesus, but that she would know Him as her dearest friend and cling to Him alone.

Commitment to Purity

Last Friday night we were able to celebrate with 7 girls as they made commitments to honor the Lord with their purity!  It was such a beautiful picture of grace as we see the Lord redeeming their past!  Each of these 7 women is already a mother... 4 of our current girls, one house mom, one former PDE girl, and one of my nieces.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.  Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20

One of the best parts of the night was being surrounded by our PDE family.  Although Aurora and Jennifer no longer work at the home and Beti and Carolina have moved out, they were all there supporting their sisters and friends as they made this big decision!  God has really blessed us with a family... and we are thankful! 

Pray for our girls who weren't ready to make this decision yet.  We are asking the Lord to keep working in big ways in their lives!

Purity

I am so proud of all four of our current PDE girls. Next Friday night they will each stand up in front of their church body and make a purity commitment before the Lord to wait until marriage. We have had some great conversations this week as we´ve been looking up Scripture for each of them to have a verse engraved in their ring. I trust that they all understand this commitment and are ready for it! In the midst of a culture where marriage is the exception, not the norm, this is a really big deal. Their families will think its weird and unnecessary to get married and there are not many men who want to make that lifetime commitment. So pray for each one of them and for their future husbands should the Lord so see fit. I pray for each of them to get married one day to a Godly man who will love them and their children well.

We have gotten each of them a ring to wear engraved with a verse specific to them and the date of their commitment. Each ring cost about $25 and this is an extra expense for us this month. If anyone would like to cover that $100 for this important occasion, please let me know!

March newsletter

http://eepurl.com/bTGISz

Team La Ceiba

This past weekend we had the joy of spending some time with our teammates dedicated to making our team better!  I am just so thankful for these fellow laborers in Christ.  From ministry to personal life, I feel loved and supported.  Many hands held the twins and watched my kids and many shared their joy in seeing girls at PDE come to know Christ and follow Him.  I so feel like we are in this labor together as we serve our families, each other, and those within our ministries.  We are so sure that God has put this team together in this way at this time for His purposes and for our good and I think that I can speak for each of us to say that we feel quite blessed.

One of our purposes of the weekend was to come up with some team-wide goals, it is so good to be on the same page and to feel unified in purpose.  As we talked through things, we were able to identify some of the areas that need special attention this year.  I know that most of you are reading this blog because you love and support Puerta de Esperanza and THANK YOU!  We still need your support, and one goal for us this year is to be fully supported monthly!  We are almost fully supported this year thanks to monthly and one-time gifts, but we are still not at full monthly support to be stable in the future.  So please continue to prayerfully consider partnering with us in that way.  Also, C needs a sponsor for her schooling, a need of $75/monthly.  Please contact me at ssinnes@gmail.com if you would like to help with that or have a question.

However, I want to present some non-PDE needs to you that would help our team to meet our yearly goals!  I am hopefully that maybe one of you has a deep interest in one of these areas and that God will move your heart to give and/or spread the word about these needs.  I am confident that in every one of these ministries the Gospel is going forth and God is using it for His glory.  Many of these are one-time gifts that you can keep in mind… the number in parenthesis is the account number that you would use to give on the website or in the memo section of your check.

1. Construction on our ministry center in La Isla $125,000 (92412) – this will provide office space for us, the completion of the seminary and medical clinic, and jobs for all of our workers for another year
2.  Medical clinic in La Isla - $15,000 (92419) – will provide supplies and furniture for a clinic, plus a lab with reduced prices, as well as specialized medical care for those who cannot otherwise afford it
3. Seminary $30,000 (92418) – tables, chairs, books, projector, all the things that you need to outfit a seminary where we will be using 3^rd millennium curriculum as well as guest lecturers and many other resources to provide theological education to local pastors.
4. Peter Project monthly support (92414) – giving to this ministry provides at risk boys the chance to hear the Gospel daily, go to school, get job training, learn live skills, and even see some family reconciliation
5.  Doctor Roger monthly support (92420) – our national partner, specialist in family medicine, pediatrics, and geriatrics, was training in Cuba and now has spent the last few years working alongside us in the existing Clinic.  Roger is now the head of MTW La Ceiba medical and raising his own support.  His contacts in the states are limited, but I promise he is well worth the investment.  He is our family doctor and has had a huge impact in a personal way in the communities where he works.  People hear the Gospel through the ministry that he is doing.  Please consider supporting him monthly to help pay his salary as well as stock the clinic.

Thanks for taking the time to read through our team needs.  It seems like money is always a limiting factor, but we know that God can and will provide!  And He may just use you… J  

Make my heart be still

I have a new favorite song these days.  I´ve been playing it non-stop as we drive around town living our somewhat hectic life.  Its from the Shane and Shane Psalms 2 CD... ¨Lord of Hosts¨.  This is my favorite part...

Though oceans roar, You are the Lord of all,
the one who calms the wind and waves and makes my heart be still.
Though the earth gives way, the mountains move into the sea, 
the nations rage, I know my God is in control.

I love the whole song, but honestly, most days I wish I could just put that one part on repeat because I so desperately need the reminders.  Daily, I long for the Lord to make my heart be still.  In the midst of busyness and sickness and homework and dinner prep... stillness sounds amazing.  And not just that, but sin and brokenness... its in our hearts and our homes and our city.  We live in a nation that is raging without a doubt.  Watching the news is like watching an out of control crime show many days.  I work with girls who have lived lives of abuse and suffering that are unthinkable and their past haunts them even now that they are safe.  The weight of sin and the brokenness of the world is too much if not for Jesus.

And so we say, ¨though oceans roar, the earth gives way, the nations rage... You are Lord of ALL, You are in control, and YOU alone make my heart be still!¨

A missionary

Last week she came to my house to watch the twins.  She didn't just watch the twins.  She cleaned my house, straightened my hair, did Nicolle's hair, and loved on our family.  We have been seeing huge growth in her recently.  She could easily be frustrated because she is currently spending her days at home just waiting to find a job.  We've gone job searching and talked to beauty salons, but nothing so far.  But instead of getting frustrated, she has decided to make the most of her time.

A few weeks ago her small group leader from church showed them the movie, "War Room"and it resonated with her.  If you haven't seen it, you should.  Its a great movie reminding us that our problems, although they seem earthly, are really Spiritual.  C took this message to heart and decided that she could use this movie as a way to talk to her family and friends about the Lord.  So she has been going to visit her mom, family, and classmates to watch the movie and talk about what it means.  She wants people to know Jesus!

While she was at my house we were talking and she shared with me... "I want to be a missionary.  How can I do that?  What do I have to do/be/study?  I want my job to be sharing about Jesus." And I hope she gets the chance because she is bold and strong and understands what it means to really need the Lord!

A NEW new girl

I had told you about M who was going to move in, but it never happened.  That is so often the case that we think we are moving in a certain direction, and then...  It seems like Scripture mentioned this.  "Many are the plans of a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails" Proverbs 19:21

But trusting in the Lord's faithfulness and good plan, we are moving forward with another girl who is in need.  Her name is P and she is scheduled to move in the first week of March.  She is about 5 months pregnant and will be the first to live with us while pregnant!  Which means another little baby to love on :)  She actually comes to us from another children's home in the area where she has lived for some time, so she is used to rules and stability.  Hopefully this will make for a smooth transition.  Please pray for P and for the girls at PDE as every transition rocks the boat.  And they were set and ready for M and now have to ready their hearts to accept P instead.

C is having a hard time at school.  The other girls found out that she is a mom and that has made for a hard time making friends.  Her classmates are 13 year olds in relatively stable family situations, middle class, and think that being a mom is just weird.  So pray for her as she adjusts and continues to show love toward her baby, even while knowing that because of E her life is harder than it would have been.

Prayers

Man alive, I've missed so many things.  I wish I had the time to sit and write about all the many things that God has done and is doing in PDE here, but I will try to give a short recap.

Our 13 year old C has been with us for over two months now.  She is adjusting SLOWLY but surely.  She is mess and requires much patience of those who are constantly loving on her.  She has a lot of baggage and never learned so many of the things that a normal upbringing teaches.  We are still working on defining the lines of what is right and wrong as far as her past and trying to slowly prove every day that she has people who are for her, who are on her side.  Understanding God's love and grace is a struggle for her and she hasn't gotten it yet, but amazingly, God is softening her heart and she doesn't blame Him for her past as she once did.  So, we see Him moving.  She desperately needs your prayers.  In two weeks she will start in a private school in 7th grade.  I made the decision to put her private school because her needs are so great and she needs to be in a Christian environment where she isn't going to get lost.  She needs to know her teachers and be counseled and loved on and have people be able to really pay attention to her.  She needs a team of people who are for her.  This will cause a financial stretch and if anyone wants to help C have this experience, it will cost about $80/month.  Let me know.  I really believe this is the best and most healing option for her, so we are faithfully trusting that God will provide.

We have a new girl who we are planning to move in next week in time for her to start school as well.  Her name is M and she is 17 with an 8 month old boy.  I will try to get a picture soon :)  We met her through Beti who used to live with us who has been helping her as best she can although with her own limited resources.  She will be going to 8th grade an night, same as C, so they will be able to go together.  We will probably need to get her a bike as that is how the other girls get too and from school.  If you'd like to send $200 to buy M a bike, please let me know!  She is also interested in studying baking, so we're looking into classes at a local school for that as well.  They should be free!  We will just have to provide materials.  I have no idea where she is spiritually... and I am anxious to find out.  So please pray for her as well.

C just finished up her practicum in beauty and is out looking for a full-time job.  She will be working full time as well as doing the 8th grade.  We've seen this kind of schedule lead to short tempers, less time with her son, etc.  So we are starting now to work on the heart issues and talk with her about how her time in the house will need to look although she will be really busy.  She is still explosive in her moments, but learning so much.  She was able to write out her testimony for me this week to share at a pastor's conference here in La Ceiba and I cried as we talked it through.  God has done so much in her life in a year and a half.

K is ready to go back to school for 5th and 6th grade this year and just got registered for beauty school this year as well.  She has been doing sewing, but we are switching tracks because her eyes just aren't good enough for sewing.  She gets terrible headaches and it makes her unable to concentrate and then she gets very frustrated.  So pray that she will not feel disappointed or behind as she starts something new.  This will be a two year track and we are hoping that she will love it and feel very successful!  She was actually able to accompany me this week to share in person at the pastor's conference and I could not be more proud.  I felt like I was her mom as I beamed with pride as she was able to clearly share her testimony and the truth of the Gospel!

This afternoon I need to have a really hard conversation that I am dreading.  Its been months in the making, but its time to do it.  Please pray for me to be full of grace and yet to speak the truth.

So grateful for each of you who care about and pray for this ministry even in my long blog absences!